Since Baltimore - Tibbs
by Eurythmatix
Summary: SLASH - When DiNozzo is placed in a situation hanging between life and death, Gibbs is forced to come to terms with the disturbing desires he has kept hidden for almost ten years. And each team member is about to discover that no matter what, love wins.
1. Prologue

**NAME**: Blowing His Cover

**POV**: Anthony DiNozzo and Ziva David

**Genre**: SLASH Romance between DiNozzo and Gibbs

**Type**: Five Chapter Challenge

**Description: What happens when one agent from Gibbs' team is kidnapped? Pressure kicks in and the entire team is about to uncover the disturbing desires behind one agent's life that will send the team into a turmoil of terrible trouble!**

oOoOoOoOo

_**Prologue**_

The air was not that cold as I stood there with my skin prickling from either fright or nervousness. The air conditioning somehow felt as if it was turned up to maximum at this hour. Taking hold of the zip on my red sweater, I pulled it up to my neck and sighed. This could not be happening to me, to us, to Gibbs and Tony. And believe it or not I immediately felt hot tears well up, forcing me to blink severely for a few seconds.

It was then that McGee rounded the corner, coffee in hand and looking as twice as nervous as I felt. His hands were trembling, bottom lip quivering and as hard as he tried to hide it, McGee's eyes were red. I suddenly felt hopeless, even though it was not a situation involving myself, we were a team and we were all in this together. We'd reach out farther than a mile to save each other's backs. Tony and Gibbs separately had done so much for me since I had been here at NCIS and now I suddenly began to feel as if it was my duty to do everything beyond my control to help them.

As Abby came around the corner, wringing her hands and her eyes wide with concern as well, I immediately had terrible flashbacks of mishaps involving myself, Tony and Gibbs.

'_She didn't kill that man", Jenny said and her eyes remained fixed on Gibbs, "I know Ziva, she would never slip up like that!"_

"_She's a trained assassin", Gibbs said coolly as he surveyed her face lined with concern. "Until Ducky has found out the cause of death –"_

"_So this is how it's going to be", she asked cutting him midway._

_Gibbs' face registered confusion. "This is how what's going to be?"_

_And then was when I removed myself from near the shadow by the door and made my presence known to them. They all turned to observe me standing there._

"_Ziva…" _

_I turned to gaze at Jenny and felt a tear trail down my cheek. _

"_I have come…to just say that…I did not kill that man willingly, Gibbs."_

"_Right, he entered the elevator with you alive, you claimed that you hit him on his head. And so far, Ducky can only find that blow to somehow be the cause of death –"_

"_I DID NOT KILL HIM!" I shouted angrily, my eyes fixed hard on his. "I hit him on the head because he was beginning to get forcefully abusive on me –"_

"_You shouldn't have hit him –"_

"_I have a right to defend myself", I emotionally. _

"_This was not a Mossad assignment –"_

"_That's enough!" Jenny said cutting him off and glaring at him. "Special Agent Gibbs I know that it is hard to accept Officer David into your team and treat her as if she's one of yours. But you have no right to accuse her of something like this until you have solid proof –"_

"_The proof's right there", Gibbs said gesturing to the dead man lying on the autopsy table. "What else do you –"_

"_Do not interrupt me. Like any other case that requires thorough investigation, you will follow procedure and do the same with this one. Ducky", she said turning to face him, "I need you to complete your autopsy and let me know what you've found. Special Agent Gibbs", and she turned to face him, fixing him with a glare, "we don't hold grudges here at NCIS. You treat her as if she's your team member."_

"_And if I don't?"_

_Jenny stepped up to him and kept her eyes level with his. "You'll answer to me, not her. Just remember that." And with that she walked out, leaving me standing there with Gibbs and Ducky._

"_Ziva my dear, don't –"_

"_I know what you're going to say, I must not worry. But", and I turned to look at Gibbs, my eyes moist with tears, "I know when someone does not want or appreciate me." _

_And I turned and walked out._

Did I still hate him: Gibbs?

I turned to face Abby and I began to cry, lifting my hands to hide my face. She immediately embraced me and I rested my chin on her shoulder, sobbing as if I somehow felt that THIS situation was going to turn out for the worst.

It was then when I looked up and saw Gibbs coming towards us. He was wearing the very same grey suit I had seen him in earlier this morning after we had taken Tony to the hospital. I remembered seeing the agony in his eyes as I stepped into the room to witness him standing there alone, holding Tony's hand. And even though I had known the truth at that moment, I suddenly wanted to slap myself for not seeing it earlier.

"Gibbs!" Abby cried and ran to embrace him tightly. "Gibbs nothing's going to happen, because nothing bad happens…will happen to…you. I know that nothing bad is gonna happen. I –"

"Keep it together, Abs."

"I can't", she said, her voice breaking up.

"Ziva, I've never seen you cry –"

"Gibbs!" I cried and stepped forward quickly, throwing my arms around his shoulder and hugging him tightly. I felt his hand rub my back as I hugged him and suddenly realized that things had changed so much between us. How could I ever hate him now? He was like a father to me, the one person who'd rise above even my true father and prove that he cared for me.

"You guys hold it together, before I have to headslap you all", he said and Abby and I forcefully laughed. He turned to look at McGee. "Right, McGee?"

"Right, boss", McGee said and swallowed nervously.

It was then that Vance opened the door and looked out. How I hated to see his face more than any other time before. If he thought that he was going to even try to damage any of us, he was wrong. We were a family and we would never allow anyone to break us apart again.

"Come in all of you."

We stepped in: me first followed by McGee, Abby and then Gibbs who closed the door behind him. Standing in a line, shoulder to shoulder with our eyes fixed on Vance, I felt as if I was in a line up at school to get punished for something that I did bad. And as Vance went to stand behind his desk to somehow remind us who was in charge, I suddenly wondered what Tony was thinking right now.

"You all know why you're here. I'd like to congratulate you and your team, Gibbs, for solving the case and finding Special Agent DiNozzo. I would like to receive a formal report from each of you before the week is over."

We all nodded, except maybe for Gibbs who was surveying Vance without a show of emotion on his face.

"Sec. Nav. has received the results of the investigation and he seems pleased."

I heard Gibbs sigh audibly and felt Abby's hand grab mine.

"However", and we all realized that we were seconds from the being briefed on why we were truly here, "Special Agent Gibbs."

"Director Vance…"

"I have been made aware of a certain situation that has presented itself within a one week span that has brought on utter surprise from my end of the room."

He waited a beat and when Gibbs didn't answer, realized that it was just fit to move on.

"I pondered on the thought of either waiting on Special Agent DiNozzo to recover then have the two of you in here for a briefing or if to rush up things and have meeting sooner than expected. I then came to the conclusion of having you all here now, since you all claim you're family."

"What's your point, Director Vance?" Gibbs asked impatiently. "Why don't you get to the point –"

"It seems like you have never realized who's in charge here at NCIS."

"Oh I've always known who was in charge."

Vance stared warily at Gibbs. "You've broken your own rule, Gibbs."

"I don't see how MY rules affect you, Director."

"Are you, or are you not romantically involved with your own agent: Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo."

"And how does it concern you?"

"It does concern me because I am in charge here and in case you haven't noticed, this organization does not run on YOUR rules alone."

"Just like my private life does not involve you." And Gibbs' tone was advancing into that of anger.

"There's no rule at NCIS other than Gibbs' rule that states that two agents cannot be romantically involved", Abby said boldly. "So you can't do anything to either Tony or Gibbs."

"Abby Sciuto", Vance said now turning to her, "tell me, how long were you aware of Gibbs being involved with Tony?"

I glanced over at Abby and saw her face register surprise. Her cheeks colored as well. And immediately I reached out to hold her hand, squeezing it to remind her that she need not feel alone as she stood there because we all had her back.

"To my knowledge, Director", she said stressing on the last word, "they were NEVER involved with each other."

"So he has lied to you as well –"

"Just wait a minute here", I said angrily now, cutting Vance off, "someone told you that Tony was romantically involved with Gibbs for a long time now? You're wrong –"

"Special Agent David, hold your tongue –" 

"No you hold yours!" I said angrily now, knowing that my eyes were flashing dangerously at him.

"Someone has misinformed you and you need to know the truth!"

"I already know what I need to know", Vance said. "How come Gibbs has nothing to say on this matter."

"Vance", and I saw Gibbs step forward as he addressed the tight asshole who loved to chew a toothpick, "I don't know what you heard, but DiNozzo and I were NEVER romantically involved with each other. Believe what you want, and I hope that ya actually realize this is the truth. But since your mind seems set on believing what you heard, I can't change it."

"So you're telling me that I heard gossip? You two were –"

"I think we're done here. Ziva, Abby, McGee…you three leave", Gibbs said and he went to the door to open it, his eyes on mine.

"I'm not going anywhere", Abby said firmly.

"Neither am I", I said keeping my eyes on Gibbs.

Well McGee had no choice but to stay as well.

"I didn't know that you'd want them to leave when I was just about to get down to the bottom of this, Gibbs."

"Well why don't you stop wasting our time and do just that, Director Vance?" Gibbs asked closing the door and stepping towards Vance's desk.

"You want me to cut to the chase?"

"About time!" Gibbs declared.

"Fine by me. Special Agent Gibbs, you are relieved of your duties as such from this agency –"

"What!" Abby shouted.

"What?" McGee and I asked at the same time.

"…you will present yourself before the council at a later date, instructions from Sec. Nav. and when DiNozzo is well enough to do so with you."

"There is no rule that stipulates that I am to be relieved of my duties because I have feelings for an agent to whom I have never been romantically involved with!" Gibbs demanded, his eyes flashing.

"As of today, Sec. Nav. has realized that such a rule is necessary in an organization as this and sees it fit to –"

"You can't do that!" Abby demanded angrily stepping forward. "Gibbs and Tony did nothing wrong! How dare you fire him, Director! This is absurd and unjust!"

"You want to go as well, Abigail?" Vance asked.

"She's right!" I said feeling angered as well, "someone has just lied to you about this. Whoever is the mole I'd love to know his or her name? Tell us their name right now! This thing is a lie and us being a team, we will fight for justice owing to the truth or else…" and I stood my ground.

"Or else…David?"

"You either keep Gibbs and Tony or let all of us go now."

Vance came around his desk and stood before us, his eyes on mine. "You fail to realize that arrangements can be made to have you shipped back to your father within a minute against your word."

"I am free at will to make my own decisions!" I said. "My father does not make decisions for me anymore."

"Vance I thought you were my friend", Gibbs said and my eyes as well as Abby's rested on him.

"What the hell does that mean, Gibbs?" Vance asked looking shocked.

"It means", and Gibbs went to the door, turning the knob as he kept his back to Vance, "that at firing me was the last thing I'd expect you to do."

And with that I watched as Gibbs went out the door and I felt as if it was the end of it all.


	2. Chapter 1

_Hey um, I just hate starting off a story with a note. But after the reviews I just want to say thank you to all of you who have subscribed and reviewed. I'm not good with remembering names. Loll. However, my story started off a bit 'too much' and 'too weird' because that's how I like to start them off. Have you all wondering what the hell is this person trying to do or say? Where is this going? Is this crap or what? Loll. _

_On the upside though, my stories never suck. They always are very good reads, not too kinky or too much but they always make me happy when I'm writing them and sometimes I really don't count on reviews since I write because I'm passionate about it. I'm passionate about Tibbs. I like romance stories that are filled with conflict and happy endings._

_Now I'm not begging you to review but please tell me what you think. It would soothe my wounds ;) hehe_

_**Chapter One **_

oOoOo

**(Tony)**

'Give me one reason why I shouldn't shoot you.'

On my knees, my eyes watering and swollen, my lip lined with blood, hands tied behind my back and with the taste of bitter bile in my mouth, I remained silent. If I moved, he moved. When I moaned, he smiled. And when I refused to answer his questions, I got a solid kick in my chest.

I wasn't surprised that he had found me because I knew he would. He always did. He knew where I was, had tabs on me. And even though the Director had no clue as to what was going on, I was a bit surprised that he had actually handpicked me to go undercover on this opt.

In the first instance I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to come here to face him and have to relive those moments again. My hands were aching and my chest was heaving as I fought to control my breathing.

'Give me one reason, Agent DiNando.'

'DiNozzo', I corrected him. 'It's DiNozzo. You should remember it. It's not _new_ to you.'

'Fuck I care. I knew you'd come after me. I knew NCIS was in this all along. After the third murder I spitefully did leave my fingerprint behind so you idiots would track me down because you know what?' and he threw his hands up wildly, his eyes wide and dancing with madness, '_I don't care anymore_! I don't care what they do to me, what happens…I did what I had to do already. But', and he pointed the gun at me, keeping his hand steady, 'I guess the body count will go up to four now.'

_Gibbs._

In my mind, he was all I could think of and it scared me terribly to be thinking about him the way I was. I was delving into thoughts that weren't making sense because suddenly I felt anguished to know that I'd never see his face again, feel his head slaps giving me a wakeup call. I'd never hear his voice again if Vault killed me. And what about his trust and belief in me: I didn't want to let him down. I didn't know what to do. I was so confused and miserable that I found myself feeling helpless as I sat on my knees bounded there in front of him.

Vault laughed.

'This is so easy. You're not even putting up a fight. Fight, give me a hard time. I love when my victims fight. Makes killing them more fun to do. I feel satisfied when I'm done.'

I had to keep him talking but with the way I was feeling, I didn't know what to say.

'Why did you kill them? What made you –'

oOoOo

**(Ziva)**

'…do it? We have to find out what made him do it', and I watched as Gibbs sprang up from his desk and he went to stand in front of the plasma. 'McGee.'

'Yes, boss?'

'Any luck with tracing his cell phone? His earbud…can you pick up anything from that?'

McGee gulped and stared up at Gibbs. "Ah, no, boss. They smashed the earpiece so I can't trace a signal from it. And his cellphone is turned off.'

'Then find some way to turn it back on!' Gibbs barked with his eyes wide. 'Ziva you go over Vault's information from top to bottom. I want to catch this bastard before it's too late!'

'We are trying our best, Gibbs –'

'Try harder!' he ordered me to do and I immediately pulled up my mouse, dragged it about to get the cursor in movement and I then linked my account unto the NCIS Database.

Going over the files was easy. Reporting to Gibbs that I could find nothing other than the town Vault was born in, which was Italy, was hard and would prove harder than before since he had become emotionally attached to the case. He was furious, pacing up and down with that cold glint in his blue eyes. And every time he had the opportunity, he would bark at either of us, as if we had something to do with Tony suddenly losing contact with us.

Actually we had no idea that Tony was assigned to another undercover opt! Honestly speaking, McGee and I, and I even think Abby as well knew nothing. Gibbs and the Director were in it alone. And that only made me feel angrier at Gibbs for standing there and treating us badly, as if we were responsible. Of course I could understand how he was feeling because Tony was his responsibility in the end and he had to watch his back. But somehow, unlike any other time when anything happened to any one of us, his behavior had taken on a drastic change.

'It happened like this with Kate before.'

I lifted my head to look at McGee and frowned. 'What happened?'

'_Him…_being like that…so angry', and he glanced at his computer screen then back at me. 'I wonder if he'd be like that if either you or I got kidnapped. Then again he does seem to like Tony more…'

'Tony is his Senior Special Agent. You are a Probie and so am I', and I sighed, 'I am worried as well. I just do not understand why he is being so hard on us, treating us like little insolent children.' I raised my right hand and clenched it. 'Ugh!'

After a while I just let go of the mouse and pushed back in my chair, resting my hands behind my head. 'This is making no sense! We are not going to find anything.'

Picking up my knife that was still in its case, I sprang up and walked out from behind my desk. Then I began to pace the floor in front of the plasma. I could tell that I was making McGee nervous but I could not sit down and know to myself that I was just wasting my time going over files that offered nothing to finding Tony's whereabouts.

'Ziva you're making me nervous', McGee said looking at me sideways.

'I am sorry but I cannot sit down, McGee', and I grabbed fistfuls of my hair in spite. 'What are you…' and I waved my hand at him, 'doing there?'

'I'm keeping track of Tony's cell, hoping that it comes back on, and I'm also trying to go over each victim's personal information.' He turned to me and frowned. 'All of them had dark hair, had green eyes, all went to Riverside High right here in Washington –'

'They were all in their thirties, the same age range as Vault.'

'Not to forget that they were all gay.'

'Right', I said frowning at my hands and then I went up to McGee's desk. Sitting on it I stared at him then bit the inside of my cheek. Why would Vault want to kill three gay men just like that? Was he holding a grudge against them? What had they done to him to make him so angry? Was he just homophobic?'

McGee groaned. 'This is useless.'

'We are missing something here, something in the case that is there but we are not seeing it. I can feel it. I just know that Vault has…'

oOoOo

**(Gibbs)**

'…never slipped up before and it just so happens that_ this_ time, on his third attempt, he leaves his fingerprint behind? I mean like _one_ fingerprint?' and I watched as Abby studied me as she talked. 'Gibbs the entire scene was wiped clean: the first one spotless, second spotless, and the third left one fingerprint linking us to him. Why would he do that?'

I continued to look into her eyes as she proceeded to study me, narrowing hers as she did. I hated when Abby did that. Sometimes I just needed things to be private, yet she never left me alone. She always wanted answers. And right now I didn't want her to ask the question she was obviously going to ask.

'He wanted us to find him, Abby.'

'Gibbs.'

'He also wants a show, led us to him. He had this all planned', and I lifted my hand to my face and wiped it. 'He wanted to get to us…'

'Gibbs.'

'…should have been me going undercover, not DiNozzo. Should have been me. I messed up –'

'Gibbs!'

'What?' I asked staring at her.

She took up the remote for her music player, pointed it across the room and the heavy metal died down slowly.

'We need to talk, Gibbs', and Abby took hold of my hand,

'About what, Abs?' I asked as she pulled me towards the back room of her lab. 'We don't have time. We need to find Tony.'

'You and I', and she rested her hands on either side of my shoulder then pressed me down to sit in her chair, 'need to talk about Tony.'

'Not now, Abs.'

'Now!' she demanded and I couldn't remember the last time Abby had raised her voice at me like that. It immediately worried me and got my attention. 'Gibbs this is serious! I _hate_ when you do this, this part of you, this part that just decides to hold things in and not let it out. You _need_ to talk to someone, get it out of you. You can't hold stuff inside for so long. You're gonna explode! And when I say explode, I mean like how you're going about ordering McGee and Ziva around upstairs as if it's their fault that Tony's missing.'

'I just want them to do their job!'

'They are doing their job, Gibbs! We all are. We want to find Tony as much as you do. Yelling at us, demanding impossible stuff from us isn't going to solve anything. I can already see you beginning to explode. There are fireworks brimming in your eyes and it has got to stop or else you'll do something and regret doing it. And I have decided that', and I watched as she stood up fully and closed her eyes as if expecting me to shout at her, 'you can explode on me, right here, not upstairs but right here. You and me. Come on.'

And she waited with her eyes squeezed shut.

I got up slowly, doing so as quietly as I could and began to step away from her. I had to do my job, find Tony and the time just going by. I felt terrible just not being able to get any leads as to where he was. As soon as I reached the door, her hand grabbed mine and I spun around.

'Where're you going, Gibbs?' and her eyes were narrowed.

I sighed. 'Not gonna snap at you or anything like that, Abby. So you're just wasting both our times here. You got something important to say, say it or else I'm leaving.'

We both stared at each other.

'Alright fine, you want it my way.' Taking out her remote control for the lab and pressing a button, I looked around to see for maybe the second time, Abby was shutting the door on me, trapping me inside.

'Abby! Open the door!'

'Not until you talk to me!'

'I am talking to you!'

'We don't keep secrets from each other, Gibbs! Not since I found out that you…shot Shannon and Kelly's murderer.' And she took hold of my arm. 'Gibbs, tell me.'

'Tell you _what_?'

'…that you love Tony.' Her face expression suddenly changed as if she was expecting me to shout at her and demand her to explain. 'Gibbs, I know.'

I immediately felt the blood drain from my head making me become dizzy and confused. Taking hold of the table's edge next to me, I looked away from her and blinked several times too many.

'I don't know what you're talking about, Abby.'

''It's okay', she said softly, and tried to reach out to hug me but I stepped backwards. 'Gibbs, don't be mad at me. I'm just worried about you –'

'Stop, Abby', I begged and held up my hand, my head bowed. 'There's nothing to worry about.'

I watched as she pouted, then bit her lips, then she looked as if she was going to cry. And without thinking it over, I reached out and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her as she remained stiff. Then she did hug me back.

'I'm just trying to help', Abby said miserably.

'I know you are, just do your job, Abs.'

'It's okay for a guy to love another guy…' and I pulled away from her and stared her down as she spoke, moving on the spot, 'the way you love Tony. Gibbs…it's…nothing's wrong. I like girls too. I totally love Ziva. See? It's not bad…'

'You done?'

'Gibbs, come on…yes, Sir!' and I was thankful when she realized that I didn't want to talk about it and saluted me.

'Remind me why I came down here in the first place?' I asked going to the stand in front of the plasma and staring up at the screen where Vault's face appeared, him leering at whoever was taking out the picture or maybe he knew NCIS would get the picture one day.

'Geese, you're never satisfied are you?' and she smiled. 'I'm sorry for Tony when he gets back. So…' and her eyes quickly diverted from my glare to her computer. 'I've come up with a few places that he may be carrying out the murders before he dumps the bodies in various dumpsters. First…' and a picture of a deserted hallway of some sort came up. I stared at it and could make out only a bulletin board and –

'A school.'

'Very good, Gibbs! But not just any school. This is Vault's high school. Riverside High located in right here in Washington. It's a bit weird for a first start but this is what I found. Since we had no leads…sheesh I feel as if I'm doing Ziva and McGee's jobs for them because this isn't forensics.'

I turned to her and waited on her to continue.

'Right, um about twenty years back, which would have placed Vault in his last year at Riverside, him along with the three victims were all expelled from school. Why, Abby? Well that answer's simple, Gibbs. Vault was in love with the first victim, Andrew and Andrew didn't like him back. He loved Victor. Lover's jealousy. This is like a soap opera, Gibbs so bear with me.'

And she brought up the three victims' pictures alongside Vault's own, then Tony's. And I immediately felt my chest contract as I stared back at his picture: his dark hair, wide eyes always appearing as if he had some joke to tell and was bursting to tell it, and his comical smile.

'Geese you're even attracted to him when he's in a picture, Gibbs.'

'Abby!'

'Sorry! Right…but I must know this and I have to because it's like an itch that I can't scratch, not that you can scratch it either. It's just that the truth can scratch it. How long have you two been together, Gibbs?'

I turned to face her, our eyes inches apart, mine narrowed.

'One night then?'

I kept walking into her personal space as she backed up, her eyes wide.

'You two kissed? That would be…something hot to see…Gibbs, you can stop advancing now. I'm shivering with fright.' I stopped and smiled at her. 'One night, one kiss?'

'Don't –'

'Gibbs, please! Come on! You didn't bring a Caf-Pow and I need fuel to continue.'

I sighed and turned back to the plasma. 'Not one night, I've loved him for years. Continue.'

I could sense her eyes widening and excitement bubbling up within her as she stared at my back. She was probably now bouncing on the spot.

'Wow! That's neat! Does he know? I bet he was surprised! The head slaps! That's cool!'

'He doesn't know. The case, Abby…?'

She looked at me with pleading eyes then gave up. 'Right, so Victor was involved with Andrew and then –'

oOoOo

'…Vault found out', I said pulling my chair up to McGee's desk, 'Vault loved Andrew. So it was jealousy. Victor and Andrew and Vault loved Andrew.'

'But where does Jacob fit in? The last victim? This is confusing, Ziva.'

I sighed and wiggled around in my chair. 'No it is not! I am guessing that when Vault found out, he cornered Andrew, issued threats about revealing his sexuality to the school or something. Then Victor found out and –'

oOoOo

**(Ziva)**

'He took Vault to the backlands of the school where a small gardener's cottage is located about half a mile off and they beat Vault terribly. It was in the news. He was hospitalized for four months, Gibbs! Four months!'

'So now he comes back to take revenge? He kills them.'

'And he murdered Jacob because he believed that he was the only other witness to the beating that took place.' Abby threw up her hands and sighed. 'I know it's weird and bizarre but that's it. The beating made the papers but not the reason for it. The explanation for rape on all three victims and the fact that he cut out Victor's private parts, ripped Andrew's heart out of his chest, and gorged out Jacob's eyes.'

'Jealousy, heartbreak and witnessing.'

'Exactly.'

'But where does Tony fit in? Why did he appear to be waiting on him last night when Tony showed up at the bar? I don't get it.'

'Because', and she took my hands into hers and I saw her eyes grew moist, 'Gibbs, Jacob wasn't the only one who witnessed the beating.'

I stared at her confused then my heart did begin to beat fast, with every beat it pained me terribly. And I found myself finding it hard to breathe.

'Tony didn't attend Riverside High, Abby', I said finding my voice echoing.

'No but he was spending the summer with his cousin in Washington. Any guess on who that cousin is?'

oOoOo

**(Tony)**

'Vault don't do this', I pleaded as he came towards me. I fought to move backwards and squeaked. 'I'm sorry but I…I didn't…I don't remember what I said, what I did. That was a _long _time ago!'

He remained silent.

'Vault, Andrew, Victor, that was a long time ago!'

'I loved him!'

'I know you did! We used to talk about this all the time. Andrew as a jackass to be involved with that messed up son of a bitch Vic. I knew you loved him.' And I saw smelt saw dust and Old Spice as if he was in the room with me, right there, right then. 'But sometimes we can't always have what we love, Vault. Listen to me. We can't always have the person we love to love us back the way we want them to.'

He moved towards me and grabbed the front of my sweat soaked jersey, pulling me up, his teeth gritted. I felt the gun mouth press to my right temple and tears came to my eyes.

'You don't know, _never_ knew what it felt like to be who I am', he said keeping a firm grip on me. 'You _never_ understood when I used to tell you that I was gay, how I felt for Andrew. You always listened but never told me it was okay to feel the way I did. I could fucking see it in your eyes when I mentioned him how you'd be judging me –'

'I never judged you!' I shouted and fought with him but he was too strong, was always the stronger one. 'Vault, let me go!'

'No!' he shouted and then I felt him shake. His evil, cold laugh came gradually. 'I hate people who judged me! I fucking hated you! And now you're going to feel what it felt like to them to be pleading for your life…cousin.' And he spat the word out as if it was bitter aloe in his mouth.

'Vault', I moaned as I heard the gun click, as I grabbed unto his pocket and slowly pulled my cellphone out, knowing that he probably believed I was just trying to fight with him. I held my thumb down on the power button and squeezed my eyes shut. 'I never said anything, I couldn't judge you or say anything because…' the phone vibrated, 'I know what it feels like. I love someone -'

'And who does little rich prince charming from Baltimore has his heart set on now?' he asked leering into my face, his breath heating up the inch between us.

'My boss.'

'Bet she's one sexy isn't. Oh how she's gonna miss you.'

'Actually it's _him_. And if you don't let me go, that _boss_ is not gonna think twice when he has his gun aimed at you.'

**Love you all, readers.**

**Thank you so much for reading this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 2

Hi, thanks for your reviews. I really appreciated them and now on with the second chapter.

_**Chapter Two**_

**(Ziva)**

Sometimes you discover secretive things about your friends. You can just be searching for a book, or maybe returning a pen to the stand upon their desk when you come across a small detail that startles you. And then you begin to wonder what it means. It nags at you, plays at your nerves and corrupts your mind set till you reach to a point where you begin to have questions buzzing around your head as that person stands before you or you simply talk to them.

As I stood by the glass window overlooking the Navy Yard, the street below and the passersby, a cold chill whipped in and around me. And I hugged myself, feeling my cheeks grow numb and the pores on my skin lift up.

In simple terms, we had still found nothing. And when I say nothing I mean that McGee and I had gone over everything we had. We had even tried several people from the Directory that had Vault's last name: Lee. But there was no success.

Gibbs had been down in Abby's lab for almost an hour and we were just anticipating his angered arrival. Even poor McGee had quickly gotten up to go use the washroom two times since Gibbs left, out of nervousness. And I was prepared to place my cards on the table, betting that Gibbs would attack McGee as soon as he came into the Squad Room.

And so that was the exact time when I decided to walk over to my desk to take up my cellphone to see if Ray had called. On my way there, I forgot that the window had been left open so naturally the wind swept in, rushing across the desks surfaces. Immediately a brown file opened that was lying on the boss' desk and several sheets of paper went flying about.

You should have seen my darting to and fro to collect them one by one. And it was until I had gathered them all and was stacking them edge to edge upon his desk when I came across another curious sheet of paper that was peeking out of his desk drawer. He had probably forced it in without even checking to see if the drawer closed properly. Along the lines looped handwriting fit for a female and being the curious person I was, I found myself taking it up, looking around as I did. My eyes then darted from left to right as I quickly read the lines. And with every line I read, my lips moved into a smile, and then my eyes grew wider, said lips parted from simple shock until I was forced to slam said paper unto the desk. Looking around I stepped silently and smoothly back to my desk and sat there breathing in and out slowly. Then as my nerves got the worst of me, I sprang up and went to stand by the window, my cheeks coloring as the words played back in my head.

Here is what I read:

_**Dear Jeth,**_

_**We can't play this anymore like you want us to. I for one cannot go on being the one who seems to always be discovering secrets about you. It's disturbing to be the one asking questions about everything, finding out that your truths are indeed left to me to force them out of you. **_

_**You're like a puppy that needs teasing before he can play with you. If I don't play well, you bite back. If I don't make you happy, you shy away and shut yourself away from me.**_

_**I do not like that, Jethro. I do not like it at all.**_

_**Sometimes a lover needs to know that trust is what binds them together.**_

_**You could have told me even before all this started that you loved him and I would have understood. All these years you have been hiding this within you and yet you keep on trying to find love somewhere else, still carrying that burden upon your heart. It's not healthy to do that: to love someone, especially one that you see every god damn day, and then you pretend that you don't know it's there.**_

_**Why don't you just face it that after Shannon died, you never found love again in another woman? Maybe you should just face the facts that you have stumbled upon this agent of yours and you have fallen for him. Don't try to hide your feelings behind you dating women, marrying and failing several times, Jethro.**_

_**If it's him you want and you cannot be satisfied nor make another woman feel so when you're with her, don't waste your time using me as a 'getting over him' phase.**_

_**Don't tell me 'this too shall pass' because that is B.S.**_

_**I hate to say this over and over again, but you need to go your way and I go mine. We can still be friends. I can support you. But until you have faced the truth that you love him, then you cannot be happy with yourself. **_

_**Call me. Answer your phone. Reply to my emails. This was last resort because it is the oldest fashion of communication and I believed that you'd read this at least.**_

_**I still love you, Jethro**_

_**Hollis**_

McGee's eyes grew wide as saucers and when his fingers began to tremble, I snatched the paper from his hand then scurried over to Gibbs' desk. I then pulled open the drawer and fixed it neatly within.

'It's definitely not me', he said when I went to sit upon his desk, my eyes narrowed at him. 'Ziva it can't be me!'

'No one said it was, McGee!'

'Tony?' And his hands flew up to wipe his face feverishly. 'That's…unbelievable…Gibbs!'

'Shhhh!' I hushed him, pressing my finger across his lips, my eyes wide. 'You know he sneaks up at the most terrible times!'

'Gibbs is…gay. The boss is gay', he whispered staring into the distance.

I shook my head and sighed. 'I do not think he is, McGee. I think that he may be in between. You know…' and stared up at the ceiling as I thought about it, 'walking between signs…uh', and I snapped my fingers, my eyes wide, 'bisexual!'

'Shhhh!' he hushed me, his eyes darting about. 'This is too much for me to process.'

'I think it is rather dangerously nice', I said with my eyes dancing at McGee. 'He is in love with Tony', I whispered, 'he is in denial, he dates women to try to get over it, but does Tony know?'

That was the million dollar question. Did Tony know about how Gibbs felt for him? Or were we just being fooled by all of this? After all, Hollis was the one who supplied me with the information via the letter. She could have been terribly mistaken in the first place. Maybe she was the type of woman to turn against people. But then again, there were the head slaps, the numerous times Tony got away with doing stupid stuff, and the fact that he always seemed to be 'on Gibbs' six', or whatever that meant.

'Suppose he's carrying on a secret affair with T –'

'Who's carrying on a secret affair with whom?'

McGee and I both jumped out of our sitting positions upon hearing Abby's voice behind the wall divider.

'Where's Gibbs?' McGee and I both asked. Then I stared at him as Abby smiled.

'Oh he took a diversion to visit the morgue, Ducky called him. What's up with you two?' and Abby proceeded to give me that dangerous yet shadowed look that she'd usually give me when McGee and I were sharing some secret moment.

'Should I tell her?'

'Tell her if you want!'

'But she's gonna tell him!'

'Tell who what?'

'Tell her, she ought to know since she's his favorite', I said smiling at Abby.

I watched as McGee huffed out his cheeks and then he took a deep breath, his eyes beady and focused on Abby. She on the other hand was smiling, her smile broadening by the second. And it puzzled me.

'Uh, Abby this might come as a shock to you. Ziva and I have discovered something…it's about Gi…' he leant in closer to her and whispered, 'the boss.'

'What have you discovered, McGee?' Abby asked still smiling. 'He's a wizard? Because that can explain his magical appearances in and out of my lab like every time he comes and goes I could swear I hear a pop or something like in the movies when they'd –'

'Abby, Gibbs has something for Tony', I said softly, my eyes darting around.

'What something? Like an object something? A gift?' And her eyes grew wide. 'It's Tony's birthday? Oh shoots!'

'No!' McGee and I both said in unison.

I breathed in and out slowly. 'We…I just found a letter from Hollis lying on his desk. I did not know that it was a letter but it was blown by the wind unto the floor. So I picked it up and –'

'You read his personal stuff?'

'I did not do it on purpose! It was…' and I flung my hands out towards Gibbs' desk, '_there._'

'But you shouldn't have read it, Ziva! That's not nice!'

'I –'

McGee cut us both off by telling Abby what was inside the letter, not word for word but the main part where we figured that the _agent_, Hollis was referring to was Tony. Both of us were expecting a huge shocked O shaped mouth from Abby, maybe her hands would fly up and she'd stare at us for a while. Or maybe she'd faint.

'Tell me something I don't know', she said beaming at us both.

'What?' I stared at McGee who stared at me.

'Geese I've known that he loved Tony since he brought Tony from Baltimore to work here. How did you think DiNozzo got his job? Have you ever wondered? Just goes to show that not only women want to get into Tony's pants.'

'I've never….' McGee began.

'He's been in love with him since then? That was like 8 years ago!' I said in disbelief.

'Well you know what?' she said turning to me with attitude, 'maybe love is something that never dies out, Ziva. Maybe you may not understand –'

'Wait a minute!' I said turning angrily to her, 'I know what love is, Abby. I was just saying that that's a long time to just continue loving someone like that and not exploding over it.'

'Surprisingly I told him…the same thing', and she looked at me quizzically. 'Just imagine Gibbs and Tony, all sweaty and grabbing out for each other. Who do you think would take control?'

'Eew…', McGee said sitting down and screwing up his face. 'That's disgusting.'

'I think…' and I smiled at Abby, 'that blue eyes would take control.'

'Boy would that be a starter for Tony', Abby smiled at me and nodded.

'You know what? I don't need to hear this right now'. And McGee fumbled with his tie knot.

'Getting flustered now, McGee?' and Abby winked at him. 'I'd love to see them get kinky in the bedroom. That would be so sexy to have them make out right there. I mean, I usually prefer girl on girl action but I'd even pay to see Gibbs –'

'Pay to see me what, Abby?' Gibbs asked coming into the Squad Room to stand next to her, coffee in hand, his face serious.

'Oh nothing, really, except –'

'Abby don't make me give you your first head slap', Gibbs said sternly and it was then that McGee practically jumped up from his chair as if he was sitting on hot coals.

'Boss! Tony's phone has been turned on again!' he exclaimed with his eye wide.

Gibbs came around the desk and looked at the screen, so did I and Abby. 'Trace it, McGee.'

'Already did, boss. It's coming from….'

oOoOo

**(Tony)**

'…this old dilapidated gym where they pummeled their fists into my face, trying to teach me a lesson. Fucked me up, they did. And you just stood there watching whilst they did what they had to do with me –'

'I wasn't even supposed to be here at your school!' I shouted, feeling my chest burn. 'I was supposed to meet you by the gate that afternoon and when I came in and saw them doing what they were doing, I –'

'Doing what they were doing?' he asked wildly, his bloodshot eyes wide and dancing with fury, 'they fucked me up, cousin! Fucked me up big time!'

'So you had to do the same to them in the end', I stated and shook my head.

'Yea well karma is a bitch, ain't it?' and out of the blues he began to laugh low then his evil laughter built up into a crescendo, ringing my ears and terrorizing me. 'How's that boss of yours gonna react when he comes in and sees you all ripped open nicely for him to admire and savor?'

I winced at the thought of him slicing me open as he did his other friends and felt myself becoming nauseous. 'You don't want to do that, Vault.'

'How's he gonna feel when he realizes that you're a homo and you've been fantasizing about him all this time, fucking him and wanting to ride him, Tony?' and I watched as he licked his lips. He was such a sick person.

'Stop it', I begged, closing my eyes and I felt the phone slip down into the crotch of my pants as I bent over, feeling the nausea ride over me. Someone would be listening because I had placed a call to one of them and I couldn't remember who had been on my Speed Dial 2. But that was the button I had pressed and left to ring. I tried to think about who I had on 1 as Vault continued to taunt me about Gibbs.

oOoOo

**(Gibbs)**

'You okay, Ziva?' I asked, barely glancing over at her because she had been surprisingly quiet for the full five minutes that we had been driving. And it wasn't like Ziva to be quiet, especially when it came to something concerning Tony.

'I am fine, Gibbs.'

'Something bothering you?' I asked.

She sighed. 'No, something bothering _you_, Gibbs?'

I wanted to try to smile and say nah, nothing's bothering me, but then I'd just be lying to myself once more. Like Hollis had said, I had been lying all the time and it wasn't getting any better.

'Yea', I said keeping my eyes on the road and wishing McGee was here because Ziva would not question me further if he was. Now I could feel that she was going to ask me questions that would lead from one thing to the other. I hated the fact that she was as good an interrogator as me. 'One of my agents is missing, Ziva. Of course something's bothering me.'

She took a while before she answered. 'We will find him, Gibbs. Tony is a good agent.'

'I know that!' I said because she had stated the obvious.

'Then you should not worry about it. We will find him; he will be safe and alive. And then…' I could feel her glance at me, 'you will be…we all will be happy.'

Being the interrogator and investigator I was, I would often read between the lines. I wanted to beat the red light, but the buildup of traffic was too much so I remained wedged between two lanes of vehicles. And I continued to dread this conversation more and more.

'Why would Vault do this to Tony who happens to be his cousin? I mean this is absurd the way he has baited us to get to Tony all the while. And I cannot help but wonder if Tony knew he'd be going into this!'

'The things we do for the people we love', I said softly and gripped the steering wheel as the light changed.

'That is clearly not love, Gibbs. Love does not make people do crazy stuff like that. It is not supposed to hurt. If it does then you kill it instantly.' And I slammed my right fist into my left palm. 'Like that.'

I felt obliged to correct her, feeling it necessary to at least offer my advice.

'Ziva trust me, you've got a far way yet to go to know what love is like. Can hurt like hell.'

'So why do you keep on hurting yourself?' she asked and I nearly did run into a car in front of me, swerving at a close call to avoid it. 'I'm sorry', she said quickly and her hand flew up to her mouth. 'It's none of my business.'

'You've already made it your business', I said in a low tone, wondering how much Abby had told her and how much she knew.

Ziva was a darn good investigator. There were very few things you could put past her, let alone her somehow finding out about me. And I was beginning to think that maybe I had slipped up somewhere along the lines or had been slipping up without even noticing that I was.

The usual head slaps should have warded off all thoughts on their side of me favoring Tony more than enough. And I never did imagine anyone figuring it out until Hollis did put the pieces together and realized that I had feelings beyond my own control for DiNozzo. It scared me to think of the situation I was diving into. What if DiNozzo knew all this time and it had affected him negatively?

'Gibbs I never meant to pry, but you…are right. I know and now I will not discuss it if it offends you that…I know', and she delved into silence, leaving me to wonder what I should say.

'Does DiNozzo know?' she asked a few seconds after and I almost started at her quick inquiry.

'No', I said plainly, feeling my mouth grow dry. 'Ziva –'

'Gibbs', and from the corner of my eye I could see her turn to me, her eyes filled with concern, 'it must really hurt. I cannot begin to imagine how it feels to love someone you…you see him every day and you talk to him and pretend to be only his boss. It must be so hard. I cannot do that at all. It would devastate me, I would run crazy. I just want to know how you have loved him for so long.'

How she had known that I had loved my agent for 'so long' I didn't know but figured that it had to do with Abby. Right there and then I felt hopeless as if I had everything to lose now that my agents knew. And I wasn't hiding how I felt from any of them because they all knew. But how could they even begin to understand what I was going through? It was heart wrenching to be me at that moment, to know that you loved someone you could never have easily. And that was obviously what Ziva had wanted to say but she was afraid to state the obvious to me, afraid that I would become affected by it.

How could I move on from there? Could I ever push it aside because it had been years now that I had tried and had failed every single time. The feelings would never go away no matter how hard I tried. And it did me no good by being around him so many times. However, I didn't ever consider quitting my job at NCIS. It was my job, who I was and I loved it. So I had been trying to hide how I felt for all these years, keeping it within me but trying to get used to the idea of it being a hopeless situation.

'Can't explain it', I said simply as we turned into Main Road which would lead us to Riverside High School. I could already hear the police sirens behind us.

'You don't have to', she said softly. 'All you have to do is to tell him, Gibbs. Just tell him and let him know how you feel, and then…' she waited a bit, 'you can at least know that he knows and you can take a bit of the burden off of your chest.'

'Where do I go from there, Ziva?' I asked of her, wanting her to realize that it wasn't going to be any easier telling him.

'My father used to always tell us that you cannot always get what you want, you do not always want what you get, but you should learn to appreciate things as they happen to you. My mother always said, 'never give up on telling the truth even if it kills you.' I pulled into the parking lot in front of the school and sat there in silence, my eyes burning because for Ziva to give me advice, it must really be something. She had to be truthfully worried about me, honestly caring about my feelings to do that.

'Thanks, Ziva', I said and I took out my gun, my eyes on the school. 'Now we find the gym.'

And then is when my cellphone rang. My heart sank when I saw that the I.D registered _his_ name. I opened the flap, and clicked Accept to receive the call.

oOoOoOo

**(Tony)**

'…when you called me when you got accepted into NCIS, said how Gibbs had given you the job just like that. Fuck I felt glad for you even then.' And I watched as Vault smiled madly, his thumb continued to run itself over the mouth of the gun. 'Oh how you could talk about Gibbs. Gibbs this and Gibbs that. I should have known the truth behind it. You're as fucked up as I am.'

'Shut up!' I said feeling deeply inside me that the call had gone through to whomever and they were listening.

Who did I have on Speed Dial 2? I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lips, trying to block out Vault's voice and concentrate on something else, praying to God that this would be over soon enough. It was then that I remembered a Saturday last month when I had been dumped by this girl I had been going steady with for a whole month.

It had been a terrible breakup. I used to always say to myself that it would all get better in time: that I'd get over my feelings for Gibbs and just move on. Just like that. And I wanted it so bad. It pained me to have to go to work and face him every day, to see him and act all 'very special agent' to him when I loved him so much. Never had been good at talking about how I felt for my boss. No one knew except Abby who knew more about everyone than they knew about themselves.

And so in order to stop myself from calling Gibbs every single time I wanted to, I had placed him on Speed Dial 2 and Ziva on 1. It still didn't stop me though, because I knew Gibbs number out of my head. But still, I had not called him as much ever since then.

'You want to fuck him don't you?' and he came up to me, placing his hand forcefully on my balls. I winced as he began to massage me there, his breathe in my face as he worked himself up. Vault had gone mad. As I started at his beady eyes behind his thick glasses I squeaked, fighting the urge to tell him that he looked like an oversized mole. But then as he continued to speak about Gibbs, I bit my lips and closed my eyes, drowning myself into a stupor imagining Gibbs rubbing against me. 'Call his name when you come, cousin.'

'Don't do it –'

'I'm helping you, you fuck. Let it go. I'm giving you one last dream with him before you die. Call his name', and he upped the rhythmic kneading, making me grow hard. I would orgasm definitely if he continued it and I continued to imagine Gibbs' hand on my, working me hard.

'Gibbs…'

oOoOoOo

**(Gibbs)**

'…Gibbs.'

'Tony', I said into the mouthpiece when he called my name. 'DiNozzo can you hear me?' The minute he had said my name like that had instantly made me react to him. And I found myself becoming aroused at his low whisper, almost as if he was begging me to do something irrational, but something I'd love.

But there was only static as I continued to listen, my palms growing sweaty as Ziva and I took our marks around the gym. The stupid cops had arrived with wailing sirens, probably alerting Vault that we were here already. And how I had wanted to snatch their alert systems and smash it to pieces. But Ziva had held me back, her hands kneading my hands as she reassured me that I should keep it calm.

'He is speaking to you?' Ziva asked from the other corner of the building. I could see her clearly as she made an attempt to go around the corner of the building but had stopped in her tracks.

I mouthed no and beckoned her to move on, feeling my skin prickling as the low rumble of Vault's voice suddenly began to come through the phone.

'Call his name, Anthony. As you come, call his name.'

I frowned as I listened, wondering what the hell Vault was talking about. And I began to go around the building, the phone wedged between my shoulder and right ear.

'Call his name.'

What the hell was he doing? Was he demanding information from DiNozzo? I saw a window about a foot from the gravel and bent down to peek inside. There was a basement. This was too easy. Vault had to know that we would put the pieces together like this. And I began to wonder if we had gotten to the wrong place, when Tony as probably held somewhere else and we were wasting precious time.

'Gibbs!'

I jumped, stumping my toe on a small jagged piece of rock in front of me.

'I…love you, Gibbs', Tony whispered desperately. '_Please_...'

'Gibbs', I blinked as I looked up and saw Ziva stooping near the corner of the building, 'over here', and she pointed in front of her.

I went after her and stopped near some sort of a door leading down into the basement. At first glance one would only see a door with rusting bolts and a sturdy handle. But when I looked closer I saw the reason why she had that concerned look on her face. A wire, barely visible because it was the exact color of the door ran alongside the crease to the right and attached itself unto the handle.

'What is it?' I asked her in soft tones.

'That, Gibbs, is a responsive bomb, triggered to go off as soon as the handle is turned.' And she pulled up the right leg of her jean. 'I think I can disarm it', she said taking out her knife.

'I was just going to ask you if you could.' I stood listening as Vault continued to taunt Tony about me. I knew it was me because he used my name several times. But what he was doing to Tony I had no idea for all I could hear was him breathing hard. Maybe Vault had wounded him. I prayed to God that I was wrong about that, because as time went by DiNozzo would be losing blood.

'What is it, Gibbs?'

I watched as she looked from the cell then into my eyes.

I shook my head and reached up with my left hand to wipe my face. Ziva turned back to concentrate on the door as two armed officers came around the building, guns at the ready. I nodded at them and then at the door Ziva was working at. One of them stepped forward, assessed the situation then waited.

'I know you're out there, Gibbs!' I heard Vault shout and when he said that, I instantly knew Tony had so little time left. 'Oh you've just made it worst. Say goodbye to your agent, you asshole.'


	4. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three**_

**(Tony)**

The walls were pressing in on me. I swallowed and found it hard to even find saliva to lubricate my parched mouth, my tongue felt like sandpaper. And as much as I tried to fight it, I ended up becoming dizzy, feeling as if I was fainting from the overheated space.

'Gibbs', I said in a low voice and began to sob, not even thinking about being a sissy as I sat there on my knees, 'help me, boss. I'm dying.'

'Like he's gonna hear you with the way you're talking', Vault said smiling and he sat down on the floor in front of me, his eyes wild and wide. 'What would he pay for you, Anthony: his life, money, or would he let you die?' And then he waited…and began to laugh that wild laugh again.

I couldn't think about it, couldn't think about anything right then. Fuck. And then the door to my far right, the one that Vault had dragged me down into this shit hole, it shook. I saw from beneath it shadows of light moving, but my eyes were burning terribly so I looked away. They had found me. I sighed deeply and heard voices outside.

It was then that Vault took up the gun and pointed it at me. I immediately felt so weak when I heard the click and without fighting I slumped sideways, curling like a fetus on the cold concrete floor. He was going to shoot me, and Gibbs was right outside the door trying to find out how the hell to detonate the bomb.

'Say goodbye to your fantasy lover, Gibbs', he said and I heard the gun go off.

My entire body convulsed as the bullet ripped through my left side just below my ribs. And I howled his name loud, then squeezed my eyes shut and prepared to die.

oOoOoOo

**(Gibbs)**

Ziva was just about to cut the correct wire according to her when the gun was fired. And on the first shot, my blood went cold. My knees grew weak and I couldn't breathe. I grabbed out at the wall and felt as if someone was pressing down hard on my chest.

'Gibbs!' he shouted from below. And when I heard Tony's voice, tears came to my eyes. I fought to breathe.

Immediately Ziva completed cutting the wire, and she reached out to grab me before I fell to the ground hard. I used the wall to brace myself and found myself diverting my eyes from hers because they were becoming moist with tears.

'Gibbs', she whispered, looking into my eyes. 'Gibbs, we _still_ have time. We can take him down.'

I got up and steadied myself, then reached up to knead my eyes with my fingertips.

'Boss, be strong. Come on, we can do this. We can save him, yes?'

I found it hard to believe that we could but I looked straight into her eyes and saw determination in them. Placing my grip steady on my gun, I nodded, breathed in and took my mark to the left of the door whilst she took the right. The other officer along with another stood in front, ready to bust the door open and ambush Vault.

I nodded to the officer but as he kicked the door open, and as it went flying, another gunshot went off below. Without thinking, I went in fast with my eyes darting all over for Vault. And even before I could fire the first shot, Ziva found him ducking in a corner.

'He's gone', Vault sang smiling. 'The boy who loved his boss with all his heart is _dead_.'

And without waiting, Ziva took the shot, firing four times into his chest and as I watched him fall the floor, my eyes then moved to rest on my agent on the floor. Immediately I ran to him, fell to the floor and grabbed his face with one sweaty hand.

'Tony', I said as Ziva bent down beside him, assessing his wounds.

'Gibbs he has been shot two times: in the left side and', she took out a cellphone from Tony's pants pocket using her fingers, her eyes wide and surprised.

I only stared at it, my fingers brushing over Tony's lips then his face. And I couldn't believe what I was seeing because it could only be a once in a while occurrence to be saved from a bullet only to have it find itself wedged in the middle of your cellphone.

'Unbelievable', she said smiling but then her eyes moved to the floor under Tony and she immediately frowned. 'He has lost a lot of blood. The Paramedics!' she shouted.

The officers nodded, assuring us that they were on their way. And as they did a cold gush of air rushed in through the basement door and rested itself upon us, swirling around Ziva then myself. It felt like the spirit of the dead rushing in to mock me, tell me that I should be happy DiNozzo had missed his chance this time, but next time he would never be lucky enough. Death felt cheated. And as I knelt there next to my agent, my number one agent, the one that I had fell for since he tackled me to the floor in Baltimore, I couldn't help but believe that Tony was going to die even if.

'_Gibbs_', Tony whispered and my eyes met his as he forced to open them. They were bloodshot and filled with tears. And for the first time since we had known each other, I looked at Tony with love, desire, my eyes moved over his lips, then to his neck and I allowed my fingers to brush against his temples. And he looked back understanding what that look meant.

At first his eyes registered shock, and then it was gone as he strained to fight the pain in his side, convulsing as nausea overwhelmed him. And I leant down, my face near his ear. I then rested my cheek against his and rubbed mine next to his softly, fingering his sweat soaked hair as I did.

'_DiNozzo_', I fought to whisper the words, as Ziva moved away obviously wanting to give us privacy. I admired her for that.

'Gibbs, I –'

'Don't slip away', I whispered cutting him off, as I found myself dying to press my lips against his. '_Stay_ with me, Tony.'

'I can't –' he whispered hoarsely. 'The pain…my chest', and he reached up to hold onto my hand, and squeezed it, moaning from a wave of pain.

'Keep talking to me, say _anything_', I said resting both my hands on either side of his face. My hands were cold and his face was terribly warm.

He breathed in painfully and then out, then looked into my eyes. 'I…love you, Gibbs', he whispered and breathed in sharply, 'I _always_…have…ask, Abby.'

I smiled at his reference to Abby but even felt my heart melt more when he fought against all odds to admit his feelings for me. And silently I took my right thumb and rubbed it softly across his lips, allowing the tip to gently move his dry lips apart so that I could intimately caress him, to find his tongue. Immediately he responded to my touch, lifting his hand to rest his palm upon my chest and then his fingers lightly raked their way down, leaving tingling trails along my shirt.

'Love you too, D', I whispered and felt dread creep through me as his eyes slowly closed shut. 'DiNozzo', I said lightly squeezing his arm, and rubbing his cheek, his eyes. '_Tony_!'

'Move aside Agent Gibbs', a woman said behind me and I was gently moved aside as a female paramedic bent down to assess Tony's situation. I remained where I was, hoping that he'd open his eyes at least for me to know that he was alright. But none of that came.

Instead I just watched as if as an outsider as they lifted him unto a stretcher, an IV drip attached to his arm. And with a padding wrapped around his midsection, they fetched him out. It was then that I just found myself fighting to breathe again so up I struggled then staggered out into the yard, feeling Ziva's eyes on me.

When I was out in the open, the sky greying from an upcoming thunderstorm, I sat down upon a worn out wooden school bench and rested my head in my hands. Then I began to sob, not cry because tears accompanied crying. But none came as I anguished myself with his memories, his eyes closing and his body convulsing from pain as he lay there in my arms and he whispered that he loved me.

My chest ached and slowly I felt the tears come, realizing that I had not cried this way since Shannon and Kelly died. And times after when their death anniversaries came I'd just solemnly mourn without crying, but I did cry for Tony there and then.

'Gibbs', I heard Ziva quietly whisper and I heard the rustle of leaves as her boots moved through them and she sat next to me. 'He is alive but has gone unconscious.' And there was silence as she waited, watched me shake. 'I am sorry.'

I didn't answer her but just sat there, feeling terribly embarrassed that I was in this state in front of my agent. And I wanted nothing more than for Ziva to leave me alone at that time. I wanted her to just go because I was exposing a very vulnerable side of me and it was not mundane.

'I am not going anywhere, Gibbs so if you think that I am leaving you here, you can…sock it.'

I had to smile when she said that and then removing my hands from my face, I looked up at the trees in front of me forming a cluster of forest. And then I diverted my eyes to her. Before I knew what she was doing, Ziva moved forward and threw her arms around me, embracing me tightly.

'He will be alright, Gibbs', she whispered against my neck and just thinking about how she was comforting me, and thinking about Tony at the same time made me break up once more.

'_Ziva_…'

'I am here, Gibbs, to comfort you.'

And she held me there for a very long time until my cellphone rang and Abby demanded to know where I was and why my voice was hoarse.

oOoOoOo

**(Tony)**

_I was standing in an open space that stretched miles and miles around me. And all I could see was white. In retrospect, nothing made sense to me and I did not know who I was or where the fuck I was._

_But as I stood there long enough, I tried to speak only to find that I had no voice. And quickly I like reached up to touch my throat and felt myself as cold as ice. Immediately I panicked, began to walk, spinning in circles until I grew dizzy. And I fell to the floor on my knees._

'_Tony.'_

_Lifting my eyes, Gibbs materialized in front of me about ten feet away. And I not only felt but heard my heartbeat in my chest as I fixed my eyes on his. Everything about him attracted me, attracted my attention. The way he dressed in his tailored suits, his army cut salt and pepper hair, those blue eyes that always felt as if he could mentally strip down every bit of anyone as he observed them._

_I tried to speak but I couldn't. And I began to wave my hands frantically in front of me, beckoning him to come forth. But he just stood there without even moving, flinching._

'_DiNozzo, Shannon…she's dead', and even from this far I could see the tears trail down his cheek as he spoke. 'Shannon, Tony…she's dead'. I couldn't remember the last time he had spoken about her to me and found it very shocking and unexpected as he mentioned her name like that._

' _I can't live without her. I want to kill myself. I can't do it.' And he lifted his hand to wipe his face, and then reached to his side._

_In shock I watched as Gibbs took his gun from his waist holster and he pulled back the top. The click rang like a bullet through the silence, making my skin crawl, and my nerves stand on edge. He was not going to do it. I don't think he would do that in front of me._

'_She's gone', he whispered and lifted the gun to point it at his right temple, 'take over for me when I'm gone. You were always my very special agent, always the one who had my back. 'On your six, boss'', he said imitating me and he laughed. 'And now, when I've finally found someone else to fill Shannon's place, I can't have that person. Do ya know how it feels, DiNozzo?'_

_He waited on me to answer but I couldn't because I could not find my voice. Where was this coming from? Where the fuck was I and why was Gibbs about to commit suicide in front of me? I didn't understand any of it and wondered if I had somehow found my way in a place where I could never escape from. It scared me. I felt terribly anguished to hear him speak like that._

'…_to love someone and ya can't have them?' Gibbs then stepped towards me, and I couldn't help but fantasize about touching him, feeling his skin beneath the tip of my fingers as I trailed them along his chest then down, down to feel him between my fingers. 'And to find out that you can't stop…ya can't stop because it…hurts…it fucks me up…you fuck me up every god damn day, every second, every time I see your face, smell your…Perry Ellis.' He continued to step towards me, the gun still at his temple._

'…_I want to touch you, DiNozzo.' _

_My breath caught in my throat and I found myself fighting to breathe as images of me making love to him flooded my mind. _

'_But what would Shannon think? She'd think I was being mean. How would she hate me for finding love again though?' And he was two feet away from me now. 'DiNozzo I want to kiss you until we are both lost not caring about the fucking world around us. I want to make love to you, you to make love to me and I want to wake up in your arms, you in mine…'_

_I tried to get up but my legs gave way on me and I fell back down. _

'_DiNozzo I want you. I can't live without you. I have never…never wanted another man as much as I want you and it scares me. Please help me understand…this', he whispered, and I watched as he tried to fight back losing control before me. 'I'm half myself without you. I want to know what it feels like to love you and have you love me back, Tony.' And I began to cry but no tears came._

'_Come to me. DiNozzo, wake up. Wake up, please, Tony.'_

_I couldn't help myself as Gibbs' figure began to move away from me and the ground began to move as well. And even though I tried to fight it and to get up, to run to him, the distance between us expanded as he moved further and further away._

'_DiNozzo don't leave me. Come back to me. Don't leave me like Shannon did…I can't face it again and I swear…I'm going to kill myself if you leave me. I cannot live…'_

oOoOoOo

**(Ziva)**

'…half alive. I can't live without you, DiNozzo.'

I almost did step in the room but stopped at the threshold when I heard him whisper those words to Tony lying on the bed in a coma. Immediately tears came to my eyes as I listened to him, my boss, Gibbs who I had known for so long and had come to know him being the person that would never allow that side of him show…

It pained me, shocked me to come to terms with all of this because within the past two days I had seen and learnt so much about Gibbs, more than I could digest. And as I had sat with Abby and McGee just hours before, telling them everything, from when we had that talk in the car to when I embraced Gibbs….I couldn't believe it. He was so in love with DiNozzo, so deeply in love with him that no amount of words could describe it all.

And now I finally realized why he had told me in the car that you cannot fight love, no matter what because that was what this was. Gibbs had been holding this inside for over seven years now and I had not known many people like him to do that. It made me believe that he was stronger, and much more deserving of understanding than anyone else in my life. And even though I used to have feelings for Tony, I was prepared to let Gibbs have him. After seeing what I saw and hearing those words, seeing the look on Gibbs' face and how Tony looked at him. That was love. That was something that no one should ever throw away.

I turned around silently, looking one more time to see him take Tony's hand into his, and then I joined Abby and McGee in the waiting room. Abby was crying up to now into McGee's shoulder and as the latter saw me enter the room, his eyes asked me how was Tony.

'He's still…' Abby looked up, 'Gibbs is still with him…' and I sat next to them, feeling uncertain of myself as if I should be doing something but I did not know what I was supposed to do right then.

'Gibbs', Abby said, her voice cracked and she sniffed, her eyes red. 'Ziva, Gibbs…_and_ Tony, his heart is broken…he was crying. Gibbs _never_ cries.' McGee held her closer as she strained to keep herself composed. 'Tony…if Tony…dies -'

'Abby don't –'

'…Gibbs will never be the same again. Don't shush me, Timmy. He will never be the same again and you both know it!' and she sniffed again. 'Do you know what it must be for him to have loved Tony all these years? All this time? And hiding it from us, from anyone! And when we all thought it was Shannon he was grieving over, it was him believing that he could never have what he wanted?'

I pulled my chair up closer to theirs and wrapped my arms around McGee and Abby at the same time, nuzzling my face into her hair. McGee placed his arm around me and rubbed my back. It was then that I began to silently cry, for since I was small I was always good at crying silently, never wanting anyone to know of my weaknesses when they arose.

And we stayed like that for a long while. Minutes went by, until I opened my eyes and saw Gibbs standing in front of us. His eyes were red and his face moist.

'You guys…go home…I'll stay with…him', he said softly and immediately Abby sprang up.

'Gibbs!' she cried running to him and throwing her arms around him. 'Oh Gibbs!'

'Abby…'

'I'm staying', she demanded.

'So am I', I said and I looked at McGee.

'I am too', he said without hesitating.

And it was then that we all got up and went forth to hug Gibbs, wishing that Tony could join us as well.


	5. Chapter 4

_***Thank you for your reviews.***_

_**Chapter Four**_

**(Ziva)**

And so we all stayed at the hospital with Tony, us sitting by his bedside or getting up to walk around the hospital to stretch our legs. But Gibbs never left his side. And coming to think about it, if my boss did not have feelings for DiNozzo, I still believed that he would have stayed. However, I once remembered Abby telling me that when Tony had gotten the plague, Gibbs was terribly afraid of entering the hospital to visit him because he didn't want to see his agent in that state.

Now it was different obviously.

At maybe four o'clock that Friday afternoon we left, with the understanding that Gibbs would return home to change then come back to check on Tony. It was only normal for him to think of doing that so Abby, McGee and I allowed him the privilege of being with DiNozzo alone for the afternoon and night. Maybe if he continued to talk to Tony the way he had, he would come out of the coma.

'Call us if anything happens', Abby said softly as she draped her arm around Gibbs's neck. McGee had to slowly pull her away to get her out of the hospital.

'Gibbs talk to him', I said as I picked up my trench coat and my eyes met his. 'Tell him how you feel and so on. I heard that it helps. Speak to him as if he is conscious and aware of what you are saying.'

Without even hesitating, Gibbs stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly with his face buried in my hair.

'Ziva, you have been so understanding.'

'It is nothing.' And I smiled at him, and then walked out the exit because I hated situations like that where someone could make me become so vulnerable.

So that afternoon I went out with Abby and McGee and it felt weird to not have Tony join us. Sitting there at the bar, I listened to them relate their feelings for either Gibbs or Tony and somehow I felt as if I had so much to ask and say but I was afraid to do so. I ended up lifting my glass filled with Scotch up to the light, pretending to admire the swirling haze as if I had never done so before. And they just talked on, without even bothering to involve me.

Abby was very touchy on the issue. She kept becoming overly emotional about it all, and at often times McGee had to remind her that neither Gibbs nor Tony was dead.

'And I was there when we found Tony', I said looking at her, her bloodshot eyes, 'the way they looked at each other, Abby. Everything is going to be alright.'

'Guess Gibbs will have to break his own rule now', McGee said and he sipped on his Pepsi through a red and white striped straw. Abby turned to glare at him. 'What?'

'Don't make a joke out of it, McGee.'

'I'm not!' he said looking shocked. 'I just think that he should have never created it in the first place.'

'So that you would have an excuse to get into my clothes –'

'No! No', McGee said interrupting her and looking astounded. 'I never wanted to get into…I mean it's not a bad thing in a way but –'

'I hope Vance doesn't find out', I said cutting McGee off because he and Abby would have gone on longer enough. McGee and Abby's expressions changed as they thought about it.

'Oh Vance would go hard on poor Gibbs', Abby said sadly and sighed. 'Bureaucracy and its rules: geese I hate them.'

McGee looked puzzled. 'Wait, NCIS as an organization has a rule like that? No messing around with coworkers?'

I thought about it.

'I have never heard of it, but I would not put it past them to create such a rule.'

'Come to think of it, I don't think there is any rule like that at NCIS, except Gibbs' rule 12', and Abby frowned then pounded her fist on the desk. 'If Vance and Sec. Nav. finds out about Gibbs and Tony, best be assured that the stupid rule will be created and fast.'

A scuffle broke out somewhere behind us and we turned around to observe, hoping we didn't have to intervene.

'I always used to think Vance took on a liking to Gibbs', McGee pondered on for a bit. 'So I mean, he'd go easy on him if he finds out –'

'No', Abby declared and she clicked her finger to get the bartender's attention, 'you only know your friends when something happens to you and then you wait to see who steps in.'

'Look we are a family', I said firmly and I twirled the cubes of ice around my glass, my eyes on the swirling liquid, 'we are not prepared to let Vance do anything to hurt Gibbs or Tony, yes?'

'Correcto!' Abby said smiling at me, and she lifted her glass, 'to Team Gibbs!'

'To team Gibbs!' McGee and I both said and we laughed. And it was agreed that later that night, Abby and I would take something to eat for Gibbs and we would see if there were any improvements on Tony's side.

oOoOoOo

**(Gibbs)**

I sat by his bedside since they left and never did get up because I felt tied to my agent lying there unconscious in the hospital bed. It was one of those moments where you felt that if you left, something would change and sometimes change wasn't always what you wanted. Maybe he'd be gone by the time I came back, or he could wake up and see no one there. He'd wonder where I was and what had happened, become hysterical and panic. And I didn't want my agent to do either. I wanted him to wake up and find me there.

'Agent Gibbs…' I looked up to find a red head nurse walk in with a tray, the smile on her face growing wider as she came forth. And immediately I felt myself smiling, admiring her in her uniform that did fit like a glove and her wide eyed green eyes that reminded me of the glow of leaves in the sunlight.

'Nurse…' and I stood up holding out my right hand and squinting at her name tag, '…Lily Waters.'

'I bought a sandwich for you: not much…just a ham sandwich with lettuce and a slice of tomato and…' she pointed at the tray, 'a pain reliever injection for your agent.'

She smiled. I smiled.

'Well', she said chuckling nervously and she placed the tray on the stand, taking up the syringe. My eyes never left her. 'You look like an agent, you have a military haircut, but the charming smile and eyes make me wonder if you are neither.'

'I'm all of those', I said smiling and laughed. 'Are you sure you've never been in a magazine as a model? I'm sure I've seen those eyes before.'

'Many women have green eyes', she said smiling and her cheeks grew pink.

I watched as she rolled up Tony's right sleeve and then she rubbed a small area using a ball of cotton wool moist from mentholated spirits. I could smell it from where I was sitting along with her Vera Wang perfume. She then injected DiNozzo's arm slowly, her hand steady. When she was done, I watched her turn to me.

'So, are you interested in dinner at a later date?'

'I –'

'I get off at 6 every night', she said smiling at me. I was a bit taken aback at how brazen she was but I always admired that in a woman. 'Oh…' she said before I could answer, 'he has those.'

I looked at her puzzled. 'Who has what?'

She beckoned to the bed. 'Your agent has my eyes: green eyes. When he came in and was conscious I saw them. I didn't believe you'd miss that. How long has he been working for you?'

'Ten years', I said and tasted bitter bile in my mouth.

Instantly I became overwhelmed with guilt as I had sat there admiring another woman when I had minutes before been thinking about DiNozzo and how much I loved him. I wanted to slap myself over the head for being so stupid.

'So dinner?'

I stared blankly at her. It would never happen. Not like this.

'Not this time', I said and forced a smile. 'I'm –'

'…committed', and she smiled. 'I didn't believe for a second a guy like you would be single.' And she left.

I sat there for quite a while thinking about things, about events in my life that made me a different person, that changed me. And one that instantly came to mind was the very first time I had met him. There was a time when I used to never ever let my guard down to anyone because I was afraid that they would see right through me, find out what I did, how I took revenge for Shannon and Kelly. But that day when I sat in DiNozzo's office at Baltimore P.D, when he looked at me: those green eyes fixed on me, I couldn't help but believe that he could see everything about me right there and then.

It was as if I had known him long before that. And the impulse fired on me to hire him. But unto this day I did not know why the hell I had made such a rash decision to get him to work at NCIS with me. It could have been me just falling in love with him back then so I wanted to keep him close to me. And it also could have been me finding a very good agent in him and me desiring him to work for me because of his skills. I did not know.

But one thing I knew now clearer than before. I had always loved him. And so I decided to do just as Ziva had proposed: talk to my unconscious agent before me. But I didn't know where to start.

'DiNozzo', I said slowly and hesitated, taking up his right hand and squeezing it. I felt empty. 'If you can hear me like Ziva said you can, I just want you to know that I have always…' I stalled at that one.

I wanted to say 'I have always loved you' but I had already told him I loved him before. And people hated when you placed over emphasis on those three words. It would almost feel unreal if you kept on saying those words over and over again. Such person may feel that you believe them to suddenly not find truth in your words hence you felt compelled to keep repeating them over and over again.

'I have always appreciated you', I said and felt like shit. What kind of person who was deeply in love with someone else would say that as if it wasn't obvious? Then again, I didn't know if DiNozzo knew that I appreciated him.

'I'm not good at this, DiNozzo', and I kind of laughed nervously, feeling strained, 'not good with this feelings part of me, explaining it. I guess I'd have to….' What? Show him? Let him tell me instead? I stuck with the first one. '…show you how I feel.' And I lifted his hand, pressing my lips to his fingers. They were so cold as if he was dead already.

I remembered the doctor telling me that his condition was stable. But he needed to be placed in I.C.U for severe observation because of the large amount of blood loss. And he had suffered from a terrible head injury from falling to the floor when Vault shot him. But was he going to make it? I was told that he was. However, it had been hours since he went into a relapse. And his heart rate was extremely low paced. His breathing was not getting any stronger and as far as I could read from the monitors, DiNozzo's condition was just not improving but remained the same.

And like before, fear overwhelmed me as I thought of the other result from this.

'No', I moaned, resting my head on his hand. 'Tony, don't do this to me. Please. Not the second time round.' I was so fed up with losing people I had become terribly in love with.

I got up and stood there looking at him. Then I remembered Kelly's favorite story when she was alive. She'd have me read Snow White over and over again to her before she could fall asleep and if Shannon went up after me, Kelly would make sure she was wide awake so that her mother could read the story over again.

It wasn't my first choice to do what I wanted to do, but I felt as if I had to. A huge part of me wanted to do it because things could change in a heartbeat and then I'd never be able to know how it felt. I sat on the right side of his bed and looked at his face, reaching out to trail a finger along his nose to the tip and then around his mouth, closing my eyes to feel the line of his lips beneath my touch.

'Tony', I whispered, feeling my throat close up and that small tight ball of tension build up inside forcing me to feel terribly anguished. I wanted another name to call him other than Tony or DiNozzo but no other name came to me. I needed an adjective to place on him that would make him know how much he meant to me. 'I'm not good at pet names either', I said and sighed.

I then hoped that no one would interrupt as I slowly bent forward, my eyes on his lips, my thumb caressing them still. Immediately my heart began to race, my head began to pound and I found myself wishing with all my heart that he was awake so that I could have him tell me what he wanted. Slowly I went forward and closed the distance between our mouths, feeling my lips touch his for the first time. And it was the first time ever for me to be this close and intimate with another man.

But it just wasn't enough. I felt as if I had to do more. Taking my right thumb, I gently parted his lips then used my mouth to capture his in a soft kiss. Immediately every part of my body responded to being this close to him. And I felt the need to take a long and hard breath as my chest contracted and I gasped for air. This feeling was incredible to me, new but impossibly real.

'DiNozzo', I whispered as I rubbed my mouth against his and then bit down softly on his bottom lip. If I was feeling this close to bliss when he was unconscious and unresponsive, what would happen to me when or if he did kiss me back willingly? I wanted to know. I really did. But the situation would not allow it.

Raking my fingers through his hair, my mouth on his, I pressed my forehead against his and silently prayed to God that he would wake up now.

'God please', I whispered with my nose next to his, my eyes closed tight, 'I know you're a loving God, and you just can't hate me for feeling this way about him because you're a God of love and you of all people would understand how I feel. This…has never happened to me before. I just need you to do this for me, please', and I felt the tears threaten to seep out from behind my closed eyelids. 'Please make him come back to me, God. I love him so much. You know how I have loved him for all these years and I've never ever felt the same way for another man but him. Please. I really and honestly…'

oOoOoOo

**(Tony)**

'…love him, God.'

No.

I couldn't let him go away this time. There in the white of all whites I had been sitting, waiting on him to just come back to me. And then after a long time, I had heard his voice, low and filled with pain. I just couldn't let it go this time at all.

Geese I needed Gibbs so much. I wanted him to touch me, kiss me. I wanted him to tell me how he loved me endlessly and I wanted to feel him against me, naked and whole as I proved to him how much I loved him. Dear God, I wanted to make him know how awesome he made me feel with his dashing haircut, steely blue eyes and charming ways.

I felt as if I was in a vacuum, some sort of sorts sucking all the energy from me when I tried to think about anything. But when I thought of him…my boss, I felt really alive and whole. Fighting the urge, I closed my eyes and pictured him making love to me, taking my breath away as he kissed every part of me. I imagined him using his hands, those slim fingers, to caress me all over.

'Gibbs', I moaned and immediately felt myself being pulled from behind. I was leaving the white space at a fast rate, the ground moving beneath my feet. And as I looked before me, the whiteness disappeared gradually and the light around me became pinched with colors of all sorts.

My throat closed up and became parched as I struggled to breathe. A room was materializing in front of me and so was someone's face. I couldn't breathe. My eyes snapped open and I sprang up, feeling wires around my arms and on my chest, a forceful pain in my side making me yell out. And I scrambled for that person before me, as I fought to breathe.

'Help…me!' I tried to shout but it came out more like a whisper as I reached out for that person. And then the person had their arms around me. I smelt saw dust and Old Spice intermingled with the scent of his suit and…coffee. 'Gibbs!' I said sharply.

His cheek was pressed against mine as he held me tightly in his arms and against him. His body was warm and one thing that I could clearly make out was that his heart was beating against my chest really fast.

'I…can't breathe…properly', I whispered frantically and he pulled away from me, his eyes focused on mine. And I saw that his eyes were red and moist with tears. Gibbs was crying. 'Gibbs.'

Immediately he pressed both his palms on either side of my face and I felt his lips on mine. My entire body felt as if it would explode: every joint, muscle, nerve came to life when I felt Gibbs' mouth on mine. And when his tongue found mine dry, I felt the back of my head rest against the pillow once more as he kissed me deeply, never stopping to even allow me to breathe. But I didn't need to anymore. I was alive and entirely filled with energy now from his body being against mine.

His kiss captured me first passionately then I felt his thumb trace my bottom lip as he gazed into my eyes. My breath came fast and hard when our lips parted and I felt his chest heave at intervals on mine. But I did not stop there. Lifting my hand only to find it weak, I raked my fingers through his hair then brought his face closer to mine once more. This time I kissed him slow and took control, wrapping my arms around his neck as I fought to find his tongue and I tasted coffee and tomato mixed with cucumbers.

'Di…Nozzo', he moaned and he wrapped his hands around my back, pulling me up into a sitting position.

Still having hold of his face, I brought it to mine and allowed our noses to lie side by side and our foreheads to touch. 'Gibbs', I whispered, and I found myself letting out a heart aching sob. 'Oh God, Gibbs…'

'My love…' he breathed into my mouth that could not close because I had to breathe forcefully through it.

'Finally', I whispered, and I felt my eyes sting as tears ran down my cheek. 'Gibbs…I have loved you for so long. I…' and my eyes moved down to his lips that lay parted as he fought to control himself from kissing me again…the passion continued to devour us. I was forced to breathe into his mouth as mad desire engulfed me. '…Baltimore', I moaned and saw something flicker behind his eyes. 'Gibbs…Baltimore.'

His eyes widened as he stared at me. 'Me too', he said as his eyes filled with tears. 'I couldn't…keep my eyes off of you –'

'When I chased you…fell on top of you', I said and fought a smile, 'I felt as if…'

oOoOoOo

**(Ziva)**

'…nothing else mattered, you felt perfect against me…When I sat on top of you, I felt you and wanted you somehow so much…' I lifted my hand to wipe my eyes as Abby tightened her grip around my waist. 'I didn't…understand what it meant…how I was feeling…but I knew one thing –'

'That I'd want to spend the rest of…my life…with you', Gibbs said softly.

Tony smiled. 'That's why you…invited me to NCIS and then you led me to Recruitment?'

'To hire you so that I would never ever have to look for you again.'

Abby sniffed behind me, her chin resting on my right shoulder as we watched from the door that had been barely left ajar.

'I was never certain…about what I was feeling. But I knew that if I let you go, I'd never be able to say this to you…what I've been feeling for all these years since I've known you.'

I watched as Tony caressed Gibbs neck, trailing a finger down his shoulder. 'To say what?'

'Having one true love is a myth', Gibbs whispered. I began to cry then, lifting my hand to cover my mouth as the sobs threatened to give away our presence.

Tony actually found courage to smile broadly and he reached forward to kiss Gibb's neck. 'Word', I heard him whisper and I smiled.

Stepping back, I pressured Abby to enter the hallway once more with me and then I turned to face her. Her entire face was pink and her eyes were red from crying. And as I stared into her eyes, she lifted her hands to press them on either side of my face. My eyes grew wide as I immediately felt overwhelmed from her touch. And even before I could respond, she jumped forward.

'Ziva!' she cried and planted her lips on mine. I felt dazed as her mouth moved against mine and her tongue parted my lips. And then, she was kissing me as I had always dreamt of her doing! I actually felt tears come to my eyes as I smiled and laughed between our kisses. 'I love you so much!' she said excitedly, her two ponytails dancing around her small cute face.

'Me too! Wow!' and I took a deep breathe. 'But McGee…'

'…never was', she said continuing my sentence.

I suddenly felt ashamed. 'We shouldn't have', I said beckoning to the door behind us.

'But we had to!'

'We should have backed out when we peeked in and saw them kissing –'

'And miss that? Are you crazy?' she asked and grabbed either side of my face softly, 'Ziva history happened in there just now.'

I smiled but stared back at her confused.

'Gibbs kissed DiNozzo! Would you have ever believed it would happen? Like in a million years? I mean the head slaps and glares and 'on your six, boss' and this and that', and she was jumping up and down on the same spot now, her eyes dancing.

'I know!' I said sharing her excitement. 'And what a kiss too! Such passion and want…desire –'

'I can kiss like that', she said and winked.

'I know you can', I said and laughed.

'Think we should go in still?'

I looked at her as if she was crazy. 'Of course!' Taking her hand, we both went to the door and pushed it open, hoping that they might have had their clothes off at that point, but they were only sitting staring into each other's eyes as if time had never moved.

When Tony saw us enter the room, his eyes met mine and he pulled away, fear on his face.

'Oh no!' I said shaking my head and smiling. 'No, no, no…you must continue. It does not bother me, lover boy.'

'That's right', Abby said going up to Gibbs and throwing her arms around him, 'Ziva knows, and Gibbs knows now…no more 'keep it between you and me, Abby' lines.'

Gibbs smiled at me and then kissed Abby on her cheek. The latter blushed severely. 'He kissed me with the same mouth used to kiss Tony', she said with her mouth wide open, her eyes wide as well. 'So it's like we all kissed each other!'

'Oh boy', I said slapping my hand against my forehead. 'Here we go.'

'Wait, you saw us…' and Tony's eyes met Abby's then mine. 'Ziva, you…'

'Yeah we saw when you two kissed. Nicely done', I said allowing my fingers to dance as I spoke. 'I must say that it made me grow quite flustered, Gibbs.'

'Oh boy did it!' Abby said and sighed. 'Come on, kiss again. I want to see up close now –'

'Abby!' Tony protested.

As I was about to comment on their passion, Gibbs leant forward and his lips met Tony's again. My eyes grew wide and so did Abby's as he parted Tony's lips with his tongue and kissed him slow and passionate. After a while, Tony did give in and he kissed back, obviously losing in fighting the urge to resist kissing Gibbs in front of us. I saw Abby lean in to get a closer look, just when Gibbs and Tony began to become passionately taken up with each other.

'Look at them –'

'They are so in love', I said after Abby's comment. And then they pulled apart, staring into each other's eyes. 'That is something rare', I said as Tony smiled at me and I smiled back.

What neither of us saw was a certain someone standing behind the glass at the door quietly observing. Her eyes grew wide as she watched Gibbs passionately kiss Tony and just at that moment when I had said my last sentence, said individual flustered, rushed to the nearest pay phone.

'May I speak to Director Vance', she whispered into the phone, her fingers trembling.

'Speaking', Vance said from the other end.

'Director Vance, I have just witnessed something terrible that should get your attention immediately.'

'Who is this?' Vance asked sternly.

'Never mind who I am. I just peeked in the room where your agent is being held only to find Special Agent Gibbs making love to him on the bed', and she breathed in, 'naked. He had his hands all over –'

'Enough', Vance said cutting her off and there was a pause as Vance tried to gather himself, trying to figure out what to say. 'How reliable is this information?'

She took a while before she could answer. 'That is all.' And she rested the phone back on the hook, her eyes dancing with danger.


	6. Chapter 5

_***Thank you for your reviews!***_

_**The last chapter.**_

_**oOoOoOo**_

**(Gibbs)**

When I got the call from Vance about eight o'clock the following morning, I was in such high spirits that immediately I noticed nothing wrong with his tone. So naturally, we made it brief: him stating that he wanted to see all of us in his office that morning.

'A meeting, Gibbs', he said in a clipped tone, 'to discuss the case concerning Vault.'

I knew better. My gut told me that he had found out somehow and even though I knew Vance would not go down hard on me based on my situation with DiNozzo, Sec. Nav. was the influence behind it all. The asshole always seemed to have his fingers in a lot of pies whether he liked it or not.

And so I did not tell DiNozzo anything about the call. My gut told me not to because it would just worry him more and that was the last thing he needed right now. So that morning, before I went into work, when I went to visit him I tried to hide my tension from him. Gladly for me, he was in the happiest of spirits.

'I was thinking', he said smiling as I ruffled his hair, 'that when I get outta here, we can like go on a real date…I know it's kinda weird but like a dinner with just two of us…something romantic.'

I had to smile at that thought that he would actually be thinking about that now. And I found it rather romantic indeed. To think that he'd actually go above the odds to do that, not caring what anyone thought of him.

'But we can hold back on telling my dad for now', he added. 'Don't want him to get a heart attack just yet.'

'DiNozzo!'

'What?' he asked looking at me as if I didn't understand, 'the guy would freak out! I remember him scolding me when I once tried to play with my cousin Bella's Barbie doll when I was younger. He gave me a lecture on how bad the world would be on a 'jolly boy'.'

'A jolly boy?' I asked.

'It's his phrase for a gay dude.'

'Like you', I said smiling.

'Like you, too.'

'Hey I'm not gay. I'm just…in between.'

He looked at me and snorted. 'Throw that at anyone, and add that you spent some time in the Marines…bet they will connect the dots and regard you as –'

'I'm still attracted to women, DiNozzo', I said cutting him off. 'Especially red heads.'

'If you notice', he said completely ignoring me, 'when you first met me in Baltimore, since then you've been divorced more times than before, and quickly at it too. They come and go but I still remain.'

It honestly touched my heart, something about him mentioning that he was always there, and then a brief memory of him stepping down the stairs one windy night as I was trying to get over a recent divorce.

'I'm always here for you', he continued touching me cheek. 'Geese I sound like Agent Cassidy now when she said –

'Don't…' and I pressed my finger to his lips, '…even begin to tell me what you did with her.'

His eyes widened. 'Mu mid muthing mo mer' and he removed my finger. 'I did nothing to her.'

'If you say so.'

'Are you the jealous type? Because you know women just can't stop getting all flustered over –' I head slapped him and he squeaked, his eyes widening at me.

'I thought that would be over!'

'Nope', I said and got up. His eyes followed me to the door.

'Can't believe you forgot.' I made an about turn and went back to him, bending over him as he held either side of my face between his hands, bringing our lips together.

'I never forgot' I staring into his soft green eyes. I'd never forget the look they reflected whenever they met mine just after we kissed. 'Just wanted to see if you remember what we have.'

'Aw Gibbs', he said smiling. 'I like that one.'

'Later, DiNozzo', I said getting up. And I was out the door, ready to face Vance along with half of my team, because DiNozzo was more than just one person to me.

**oOoOoOo**

**(Ziva)**

'You cannot go like this, Gibbs', I said taking hold of his arm and forcing him to stop, turn around and face me. 'You have to take your stand.'

'Ziva, we can do nothing to change Vance's decision. He'll just continue –'

'This is not the boss I know!' I said with my eyes wide. 'You always make us brace ourselves for the worst, refusing to give up until we get answers that mean something.'

I looked into his tense blue eyes and just saw one thing, confusion. Gibbs was walking away. I never believed that he would do such a thing. But this was a different situation. This went further beyond his own area of expertise which entailed cracking the case and getting the truth. Gibbs was not good at relationships but I was not prepared to let him back down and just watch him give up.

'We will not let you go.' And Abby came out of Vance's office, her eyes shining with tears, her cheeks pink from anger. McGee followed.

'Gibbs don't you walk away from us again!' she said angrily, her eyes dancing with anger. 'You did it once before but not this time. I will do whatever it takes -'

'Abby…'

'…even lie to make you stay here –'

'Abby…'

'…and don't go telling me that I'm being ridiculous because this is not a ridiculous thing here. This is big, Gibbs. Bigger than big, and you can't let…Vance', and she gestured to his door, 'do that to you because that's just making him feel more important.'

I watched Gibbs stared at her.

'Go to the hearing.'

Abby and McGee turned to stare flabbergasted at me, their eyes wide.

'Go to the hearing and face them', I said firmly, my eyes level with Gibbs, 'tell them exactly how you feel. Do not lie to anyone –'

'Ziva!' Abby said in shock. 'What the hell?'

'…just tell them how you feel about Tony, from your heart, Gibbs', and I blinked back tears.

'He can't do that!' Abby declared.

'He can do it, Abby', and I turned to face her. 'What has he got to lose? Vance already fired him. And Sec. Nav. is prepared to do the same –'

'We can go in there and demand that he take back what he said!'

'And he will do what? Hire him again? Do you not see what is going on here?' and I turned to Gibbs. 'It is not Vance that is behind this! It is Sec. Nav. if he wants the truth, then he shall have it.'

'Do you know how stupid Gibbs will sound if he goes and admits that he loves Tony in front of them?'

'So you would rather he lied about how he feels?'

'This is not a matter of lying or not about how you feel!' Abby said loudly. 'We all know how he feels! He doesn't have to tell the truth to them!'

'I have to', Gibbs said and we all turned to stare at him. His eyes registered confusion still yet there was some determination with those blue orbs staring back at me. And I suddenly realized that never before had I ever defended Gibbs like that nor offered him advice at such an emotional level.

'Ziva', he said stepping forward to rest his hand on my shoulder. 'Just keep things together whilst Tony and I are gone. You're the Senior Agent now –'

'Gibbs!' Abby said miserably.

'Whilst we are gone…for now', he said with his eyes on hers. 'We'll be back.'

'What will you do then?' she asked with her eyes red.

'Whatever my gut tells me to.' And it was then that he turned around and walked away.

Abby turned to me with her eyes narrowed then she turned around the other way and stalked off. It was McGee who turned to face me with admiration in his eyes.

'I think he should tell the truth too', he said squeezing my arm. And we walked off, my insides feeling as if Dooms Day was about to happen and we couldn't do anything to stop it.

**oOoOoOo**

**(Ziva)**

The day when the hearing was to take place, we were all tense. And Abby had refused to talk to me since that morning when I had told Gibbs that he should tell the truth, no matter what. I had begun to face terrible doubts about what I had told him to do because if he did lie, then maybe he could get off. But if he told the truth then it placed him in a spot where he could not even take back what he said.

Covering my face with my hands, I groaned and tried Tony's cell once more. Ever since two days before when Gibbs had obviously told him about the hearing and what had happened, he wasn't answering his phone.

'Yea', his voice said to me through my phone and I almost fell out of my chair.

'Tony!'

'Ziva', he said mocking my surprised voice. 'Long time no see. Tell me, how are you and how's the family?'

'Stop joking around', I said smiling a bit.

I heard him sigh. 'It's the only thing I can do to cheer me up right now, Ziva.'

'You have not been answering your phone', I stated and heard a siren wail by on his end. 'Where are you?'

There was a small cackle of some sort then I heard Gibbs' voice. 'Sure', he said in reply. 'Waiting to meet the fool who fired Gibbs and I because we love each other', he said to me now. My heart pained just to hear him actually say it.

'Oh', I said. 'Tell Gibbs…' and I stopped. Truthfully I did not know what to tell him.

'I'll tell him you said that you wish him luck', he said.

'I wish you luck too, Tony, lots of luck.'

'I know', he said sadly. 'Ziva I'm…sorry I never told about how I felt.'

'It is nothing', I said and reached up to wipe my right eye. 'I know now.'

He sighed. 'Better late than never.'

'Better late than never', I repeated after him.

'It was the nurse that told Vance on us', he said as cars buzzed by on his side. 'If she didn't then no one would have known.'

'I could…kill her', I said grinding my teeth together. And I got out my knife, fingering the blade.

'Woah, ninja…put the knife back.'

I was so shocked that I laughed.

'Don't worry, man', he said, 'read GSM or something…'

'Ha ha', I said. 'Call me as soon as they are finished with you two.'

'I will', he said, his voice strained. 'Bye.' And then the phone went silent.

After about ten minutes, I went over to his desk, found myself fingering his Mickey Mouse stapler, and then his chair. And I opened his drawer, taking out a random magazine to read.

**oOoOoOo**

**(Tony)**

He was pacing the ground too many times as we stood there waiting for Sec. Nav. to call us in. And I wanted to take his arm and pull him towards me, but I didn't dare risk it. I didn't know what he had planned, or what he wanted me to do or say when we got in there. But I knew that he was tense. And when Gibbs was tense, he was thinking. Disturbing him would only make me receive a confused look.

I chose then to just look at him.

He was wearing one of his sharp suits, a grey one today with a red shirt underneath. And it didn't matter to me what he had one, because he looked sexy in anything. But his hair was disheveled, a sign of him running his fingers through it too a lot.

'Gibbs', I said as I couldn't help myself. He stopped then turned to look at me. I wanted to step towards him but hesitated, feeling that he wanted space now. 'I'm sorry.'

His blue eyes just remained calm. 'Why for?'

'It's my fault that you've lost your job. And I shouldn't have –'

'Don't say it, DiNozzo', he warned me, his eyes steady on me.

'I made you –'

'You think that bothers me at all?' he asks looking hurt. 'You think me losing my job bothers me at all when compared to the way I feel about you? DiNozzo, I'd give my job away in a heartbeat just to have you.'

'But you –'

'I want them to allow you to keep your job!' he said softly now.

'No', I said firmly. 'I can go, you must stay –'

Those big double oak doors swung open and a man in a suit stepped out. His eyes met mine briefly then he looked in Gibbs' direction. They glared at each other.

'Agent Gibbs…'

'Donald', Gibbs said with his eyes on the man who appeared to be his age. 'Haven't seen you since I left the Marines.'

'Maybe it was the best thing', Donald said in a clipped tone, and he stepped aside from the doorway, 'you may come in now.'

As I passed him, my eyes met his and I sent him an analyzing glare.

So briefly, the entire thing started off with Sec. Nav. eyeing Gibbs, and Gibbs sizing him up with one look. Then we sat down after we were introduced to two men sitting on either side of him wearing Marine suits. Men of importance but don't like ask me if I remember their names and ranks. All I remembered is them looking tough and mean. I began to dread the meeting now more than ever, if you could just call it a meeting…more like Dooms Day.

'You know why we're here', Sec. Nav. begun as his eyes moved from Gibbs to me. 'Just for the record, Agent Gibbs, I find it rather surprising that this would happen.'

Gibbs said nothing.

'You know I'm going to ask you the question', Sec. Nav. said actually smiling at Gibbs. 'Let me ask Agent DiNozzo a few questions now.'

I swallowed, wishing that I could know what Gibbs was thinking.

'How the hell did this happen?' he asked gesturing from Gibbs to me. 'You strike me as a ladies' man, DiNozzo. And I find it really surprising to find out that this happened between you _two_. Of all pairs, you two. Tell me it's just a joke.'

'It wouldn't make a difference, would it?' Gibbs said firmly.

'So it's true?'

'Like you'd believe what either of us had to say about any of it', Gibbs said. 'Just don't fire DiNozzo. You can do so with me but let him keep his job.'

'You're willing to give up your job for him?' Sec. Nav. said wide eyed. 'Gibbs this is no joke here.'

'Never said it was.'

'I don't understand how you could –'

'I've had enough of this crap', I heard Gibbs whisper, 'you can't understand any of this!' Gibbs said angrily. There was silence in the room as everyone including me stared at him. 'You've never been in either DiNozzo or my position to know how it feels. So don't you even try to assess how it would feel.'

Sec. Nav. stared dumbfounded at him.

'DiNozzo?' he asked turning to look at me, swallowing as Gibbs continued to glare at him, 'anything you want to…add?'

'As a matter of fact I do', I said keeping my eyes level with his, 'You can sit there and fire both of us, never stopping to think about how we're feeling sitting here before you, caught in a situation like this. I'm not gonna sit here and deny what I feel. So if you see it fit to fire two agents because they simply _love_ each other, then go ahead and do so.'

'DiNozzo I –' Sec. Nav. begun but I did cut him off.

'Last time I checked, there's no rule stipulating that agents can't date each other –'

'Except mine', Gibbs said cutting me off, 'and I break my rules…nothing new to anyone.'

There was silence as no one knew what to say and I was beginning to wonder what purpose the two dudes in the uniforms were serving.

Sec. Nav. sighed. 'That's right Agent DiNozzo', he said calmly and lifted his right hand, kneading his fingers against his right temple. 'This…' and he gestured to me then Gibbs, '…doesn't look good though. And you two would just be intimidating each other…not doing your jobs fully.'

'Oh I'll do my job', Gibbs said matter-of-factly. 'Will you do yours, DiNozzo?'

'Of course!'

I was shocked because I didn't know how the atmosphere in the room had changed so drastically. Come to think of it, Sec. Nav. hadn't even come down hard on us at all. He had just sat there smiling, listening to us. It was almost as if it didn't even bother him.

'Gibbs', he said pushing his spectacles further up his nose, 'when I asked you two to come here today, it wasn't to fire you both officially. My intention was to alert you of the chaos you're both putting yourselves in by being romantically involved with each other. And if you can keep it to a limit whilst you're at work, then there's no problem.'

It was my turn to stare at him. 'But Vance told Gibbs that –'

'This is ridiculous!' Gibbs said getting up. 'You call this meeting, taking us both from our jobs just to reassure us of what we know already? How ridiculous is that?'

Sec. Nav. only observed him with a smile. 'If I were you, I wouldn't get worked up about this or what Vance said. What he said was out of mere determination to follow procedure. Whenever such an issue comes up, the first thing we do is –'

'Fire that person?' Gibbs asked heatedly.

'No, Vance was wrong to do that.'

'Well he had to be taking orders from someone higher than him', Gibbs declared, he was furious more than ever now.

'He acted on instinct', Sec. Nav. proposed.

'That's absurd!'

'He was joking then?'

'So this is a joke to you too?' Gibbs asked and threw his hands up in the air out of frustration. 'Don't you two have something better to do than to waste time?'

Sec. Nav. seemed offended and got up. 'Procedure, Gibbs.

'Procedure my ass', Gibbs said and stepped to me. Taking my arm he pulled me up gently then turned to get ready to walk out.

'I didn't dismiss you, Agent Gibbs.'

'And what if I dismiss myself?' Gibbs asked turning to face him, 'you'll fire me now?'

'That's stepping out of line on your part. Calm down.'

'I will not calm down', Gibbs replied. 'I would have loved to see you in this situation trying to keep it calm.'

'First of all, I would never have placed myself in such a situation as this one you got yourself tied up in. I would have tried to control my feelings because I know that if I didn't then the water would get choppy.'

This was going to get ugly, I thought as I watched Gibbs' narrow his eyes and step forward. He still was holding my right hand firmly in his. And I know that it's kind of crazy to feel this way, but by him doing that, I felt all weird inside. I felt wanted. And that one person who wanted me was the only person I needed that could ever make me feel whole. It was a feeling I couldn't really explain fully, but one thing was certain, we both needed each other.

'You have no idea –'

'This is not something you could understand, like Gibbs said', I said cutting Gibbs off and knowing in any other situation had I been just his agent, he would have drilled holes in me just by his glare. 'When you feel like this for someone', and I took a breath, then swallowed, 'there's no hiding it because if you continue to do so then it would be safe to say I would have been glad for you to fire one of us. It's tormenting. And…' I had to stop, just had to because he squeezed my hand as I spoke. It threw me off balance for a while since I was expecting nothing more than acknowledgement on his part.

'Tormenting and rare', Gibbs said softly, pulling me closer to him. 'Are we done here now?'

Even before Sec. Nav. could process the information and answer us, even before he could fully nod, Gibbs was pulling me out the door and out the building. And when we were safely inside his car, he turned to me and reached out to pull me towards him, his fingers snaking through my hair. I allowed him to, feeling the desire for him build up within me as we didn't care who the hell saw us when our lips met and he kissed me deeply. I managed to let him take control, feeling his tongue part my lips passionately as he pulled me even closer.

'Tony', he whispered as our lips parted and he tilted my neck to the left, trailing kisses down to my shoulder blade.

I only closed my eyes and moaned, smelling his Old Spice and just wanting to smell all of him bare and naked in my arms.

'That…thing was…useless', I moaned as he pulled onto the highway. 'Stupid if you ask me. You gonna kill Vance?'

Gibbs kept his eyes on the road ahead. 'Right now, don't even mention his name to me.'

'You're going to ignore him even if he calls you up to his office?'

'My guess is Sec. Nav. will call him, give him a tongue lashing and he'll not speak to me for days. By then I would have already fumed out and will be in calmer spirits to even talk to him.'

I had to laugh. 'He might spite you.'

It was Gibbs' turn to laugh. 'There's nothing Vance could do to me that will get to me, DiNozzo. Never did happen before.'

'He might put me on a dangerous undercover assignment –'

'Let him just try', Gibbs said and he turned to look at me. And if a guy can safely say this and not sound like a wussy, I'd say that the look in his eyes made my heart want to melt. I wanted to sigh long and nice like a small girl but didn't do that. I might have just gotten a head slap. 'Nothing's ever gonna happen to you, DiNozzo', he said and rested his hand on my right knee, squeezing it softly. 'Once I'm alive.'

'And you're never gonna die', I said and laughed. 'Like Ziva calls you…the Terminator, you always will keep coming back.'

'Don't make me choke', he said laughing. It was a rare sight. 'How's your side?'

I shifted in my seat and shrugged. 'Alright, I guess.'

'Your dad going to Vault's funeral?'

'Vault was my dad's least favorite nephew', I said as I pulled down the mirror above the dashboard to fix my hair. 'But he was my favorite cousin for as long as I could've remembered. Geese, Gibbs, I used to beg to go spend summer with the guy.'

Gibbs sighed. 'People change, DiNozzo.'

'I know!' I said resting my head back and sighing. 'Vault…a serial killer. Gibbs I couldn't believe it when I found out that it was him. I just had to go after him, to find him, to see if I could prove my suspicions wrong.'

'I understand', Gibbs said, 'family.'

'He didn't think of me as that though.'

We drove in silence until I felt his hand edge its way up my thigh and to the bulge in my jeans. 'Gibbs!'

'What?' he asked keeping his eyes on the road. 'You're driving!'

'You're not.' And he snorted.

'What…' his fingers pressed against my balls lightly, making me harden slowly but surely.

'Suppose the cops pull us over!'

'They can't see what I'm doing. Sue me for harassment then', and he grabbed hold of me then squeezed hard.

'Fuck!'

'Not here, DiNozzo! Have some manners and patience!'

I turned to glare at him and when he saw the look in my eyes, Gibbs burst out laughing. 'Ya know, when you do that…that look, it looks so cute.'

'I'm beginning to feel that I'm living up to Ziva's call name…she called me your boy toy.'

He laughed even more. 'What a lovely phrase.'

'With the rate you're going, Gibbs, you're going to make me –' and I gulped, not even believing I could say the word in front of Gibbs. I mean, it felt weird to say 'make me come' in front of him because I hadn't done that before. All these years he had been my boss, that strict military looking dude that loved to head slap me.

'Not like it's gonna be the first time you do that with me around.' I turned to look at him puzzled then my eyes widened as I remembered Vault tormenting me to come for Gibbs as he rubbed me raw.

'Wanna see the look on your face when you do that with me helping', he said and I gasped, feeling intensely aroused.

'We're going back to work now?'

He looked at me and gave me that 'what stupid question is that, DiNozzo' look.

'Just wishful thinking, I guess', I muttered and he laughed. 'You just wait till I have you to myself later, keep on laughing me, Gibbs.'

And with that, we drove to the Navy Yard.

**oOoOoOo**

**(Ziva)**

When I felt the pencil poke into my ear, my hand swung up and I caught whoever hand it was in a flash. I then opened my eyes and got up slowly, gasping when I saw Tony sitting on my desk, a huge Cheshire grin on his face.

'Tony!' I said scrambling up, and I hugged him tightly, closing my eyes as I felt him do the same. When I opened my eyes, I saw Gibbs standing next to us. 'What happened?' I asked pulling away and looking from Tony to Gibbs. 'Did you two get fired?'

'Would I be here smiling if I was laid off, Ziva?' Tony asked and ruffled my hair. 'Nope.'

I went around him to hug Gibbs, who welcomed my arms around him with ease. 'We followed your advice', he whispered into my ear.

I pulled back to stare at him. 'You did?'

'Yea we did', Tony said walking over to his desk and fixing something on his desk. 'Gibbs told me what you said, what Abby said and well, I figured that I'd rather go your way than to lie.'

'It makes no sense lying', I said softly. 'Besides, he called us there for no reason at all.'

And when they told me what happened I took out my knife and fingered the blade. Tony's eyes moved to it and he turned to Gibbs.

'See what I told you? Whenever she does that means she wants to kill you.'

Gibbs smiled. 'You and Abby still not talking?' he asked of me.

I nodded, my eyes shadowed.

'I'll talk to her for you, don't worry.'

I smiled at him. 'Thanks, Gibbs.'

'Let me go down to see her before she smashes things up or something.' I wanted him to talk to her, because we had just admitted our feelings for each other and now she was angry at me. I had just gained and lost someone in such a short time, and the idea of me getting something permanent seemed impossible at the moment.

As we watched him go, I turned on Tony, a wicked smile on my face.

'So…' I said fingering his collar, 'you two have done it already?'

'Ziva!' he said backing up to his desk, getting all flustered, 'that's private.'

'Things like that has never been private between us', I said raising my eyebrows.

'I'm not –'

'I snatched his tie and pulled it, making him squeak. 'Tell me.'

He shook his head, 'no we haven't.' My eyes narrowed, and I pulled his tie more. 'We…' and his eyes lit up as he smiled. 'I can't wait though.'

'Your first time with another guy', I said and released my grip, my eyes dancing with mischievousness. 'It will be unforgettable, Tony, especially since it is with Gibbs. He seems like the type that loves it…rough.'

I watched him swallow, obviously getting aroused.

'You, running your fingers through that short, silver hair, all naked against him. And him…' I went up to him and used my finger to trail a path down his jawline, '…moaning your name. _Oh, Tony_.'

'Ziva don't…' he said with his eyes distant. 'He almost had me in the car just now.' He admitted and told me about how Gibbs had used his hand to massage him until he grew hard. 'I want him so much, Ziva.'

'Let us just hope that you told the truth to Sec. Nav. that you two will be able to control your desires on the job. Not that I would mind you two fondling each other in front of me', and I winked at him.

'Really?' he asked as I walked back to my desk.

'Two guys making out turn me on so much.'

He gulped. 'Maybe you can join us.'

'No, no, no', I said shaking my finger in front of me, 'I would not like Gibbs to shoot me.' My eyes moved to Gibbs followed by Abby and McGee as they came into the Squad Room.

Immediately Abby's eyes fixed on me and she came towards me, her arms outstretched. 'Ziva!' she said burying her face into my hair, 'I am so sorry. You were right.'

'Never mind that, Abby', I whispered and patted her head, hoping that she didn't kiss me in front of Gibbs and the rest of them.

She didn't but squeezed my butt and giggled. 'Come in', she said and beckoned for Gibbs, McGee and Tony to join us. They all did and if someone was looking from the outside, they would have seen nothing much. But for four of us, Gibbs entwined his fingers with Tony's and Abby rested her lips on my neck, her fingers entwined with McGee's.

'What a team', Tony said later as we sat down at our desks, and Abby sat on my desk playing with my hair. 'Except for McGee, poor McGee…'

Of course Tony knew about Abby and I. But Gibbs didn't know, or at least we thought he didn't.

'Agent Gibbs.'

We all looked up and into the eyes of a tall slender blond girl standing before us. And as she observed us all, her green eyes behind her spectacles moved over us and rested on McGee who continued to stare at her as if he was seeing an alien. He sprang up and stepped towards her, holding onto her hand as they carried on a conversation in heavy whispers.

'McGee, who is this lovely lady?' Tony asked with his eyes on the two of them.

McGee turned around to face us and his eyes met mine then Abby's. 'She-she wanted to meet you guys', he said nervously, tugging at his tie knot.

'McGee?'

He looked at Abby and sniffed. 'This-this is Jennifer Wilkes…she's my, girlfriend.'

Immediately Tony looked dumbfounded as he stared at them both, and so did Abby. But Gibbs and I just observed the situation calmly.

'And you were saying just a minute ago, something about 'poor McGee'…'

'A man can take back his words', Tony said and smiled. Jumping up he offered his hand to Jennifer and helped McGee introduce the rest of us.

'Lucky catch' he whispered to McGee, 'she has a nice ass…' and I saw Gibbs look up at him, 'I mean boss, what I meant to say was that she is a lovely creature, for McGee –'

'DiNozzo…'

'Not that you can't appreciate a good looking woman right, so –'

'DiNozzo…'

'It's no problem if I say she's good looking because –'

'DiNozzo!'

Tony squeaked and yes, I figured that we did have a unique team. And as Abby fingered my jawline, I felt like the most gifted person in the world to have these people around me to call my family.

***What a tangle of squiddletickleubber confusion***

**I wrote this while I was in the midst of camping out for our second run in boot camp. Lol. A bit hazy but this is it! Stay tuned for an epilogue!**


End file.
